Singapore Expats

Plavt wrote:

Salah wrote: What abt fren of your maid's fren? When do you draw the line? If it an emergency, the employer should be informed before hand and special meeting place arranged. Under no circumstances shld it take place at the employer home.

What about the friend of your friend's friend? Don't forget to book and appointment and a 'special meeting place' to meet your own frend(s). Sorry but I find your post repulsive and pathetic!

In which case, the fren's fren will still have to ask for permission. I find your remark detestable and naive!

Salah wrote: In which case, the fren's fren will still have to ask for permission. I find your remark detestable and naive!

I couldn't care less! From what I have read on this board in the last four years I am wholeheartedly dismayed at the attitude of a great many Singaporeans towards fellow human beings who they appear to consider to be little more than dogs! As for being naive take it from me I live in an area where there are far more dubious characters who I am not infrequently amongst and anybody would have more concerns about than a maid in Singapore.

Salah wrote:

Plavt wrote:My two cents worth; if you can't trust your maid's friends then that implies you don't trust your maid so why have one in the first place?

What abt fren of your maid's fren? When do you draw the line? If it an emergency, the employer should be informed before hand and special meeting place arranged. Under no circumstances shld it take place at the employer home.

My maid has friends over from time to time. They don't use the house but they do use the patio and tables on it. I have gotten to know most of these people.

Plavt wrote:

Salah wrote: In which case, the fren's fren will still have to ask for permission. I find your remark detestable and naive!

I couldn't care less! From what I have read on this board in the last four years I am wholeheartedly dismayed at the attitude of a great many Singaporeans towards fellow human beings who they appear to consider to be little more than dogs! As for being naive take it from me I live in an area where there are far more dubious characters who I am not infrequently amongst and anybody would have more concerns about than a maid in Singapore.

It is your generalization abt s'poreans' attitudes and such remarks that made your posts detestable!

Strong Eagle wrote:

Salah wrote:

Plavt wrote:My two cents worth; if you can't trust your maid's friends then that implies you don't trust your maid so why have one in the first place?

What abt fren of your maid's fren? When do you draw the line? If it an emergency, the employer should be informed before hand and special meeting place arranged. Under no circumstances shld it take place at the employer home.

My maid has friends over from time to time. They don't use the house but they do use the patio and tables on it. I have gotten to know most of these people.

How much freedom you give your maid depends on the maid's attributes. I'll be more at peace knowing who her friends are and what she does on her own and where is she at all time. My mother's maid is a married woman in her late 30s, she is given many freedoms given that she is mature enough handle her life on her own. Having said that, there are maids who are rather young, hardly out of their teens. Some have come from the countryside, the city urban settings can be too overwhelming to these new comers. I believe it's a case to case basis how much freedoms they shld have.

Salah wrote: How much freedom you give your maid depends on the maid's attributes. I'll be more at peace knowing who her friends are and what she does on her own and where is she at all time. My mother's maid is a married woman in her late 30s, she is given many freedoms given that she is mature enough handle her life on her own. Having said that, there are maids who are rather young, hardly out of their teens. Some have come from the countryside, the city urban settings can be too overwhelming to these new comers. I believe it's a case to case basis how much freedoms they shld have.

There you again! You accuse me of making generalizations when I hadn't made any and now doing just that yourself! For a start what do you mean by 'your maids attributes?' 'You would be more at peace knowing who her friends are and where she is all the time! Give me a break each and every one of us is entitled to some freedom and privacy and age is not always relevant. Yes your maid could fall into bad company but that applies to anybody and those from the country need to develop themselves not be 'imprisoned' by a Singaporean employer who doubtless will not have one iota of interest in her the day he/she decides to dispense with her services.

Plavt wrote:

Salah wrote: How much freedom you give your maid depends on the maid's attributes. I'll be more at peace knowing who her friends are and what she does on her own and where is she at all time. My mother's maid is a married woman in her late 30s, she is given many freedoms given that she is mature enough handle her life on her own. Having said that, there are maids who are rather young, hardly out of their teens. Some have come from the countryside, the city urban settings can be too overwhelming to these new comers. I believe it's a case to case basis how much freedoms they shld have.

There you again! You accuse me of making generalizations when I hadn't made any and now doing just that yourself! For a start what do you mean by 'your maids attributes?' 'You would be more at peace knowing who her friends are and where she is all the time! Give me a break each and every one of us is entitled to some freedom and privacy and age is not always relevant. Yes your maid could fall into bad company but that applies to anybody and those from the country need to develop themselves not be 'imprisoned' by a Singaporean employer who doubtless will not have one iota of interest in her the day he/she decides to dispense with her services.

It jolly well to say that she can get into trouble in her own rights. And may I ask who will be responsible when she get into trouble? The employer is legally bound to take care of her. It is the employer that the law goes after.

Your narrow-mindedness: "the country need to develop themselves not be 'imprisoned' by a Singaporean employer who doubtless will not have one iota of interest in her the day he/she decides to dispense with her services." This is not a generalization?

Salah wrote:How much freedom you give your maid depends on the maid's attributes. I'll be more at peace knowing who her friends are and what she does on her own and where is she at all time. My mother's maid is a married woman in her late 30s, she is given many freedoms given that she is mature enough handle her life on her own. Having said that, there are maids who are rather young, hardly out of their teens. Some have come from the countryside, the city urban settings can be too overwhelming to these new comers. I believe it's a case to case basis how much freedoms they shld have.

Having lived here for coming 6 months soon, i have seen and heard about this topic.

I agree that the amt freedom to be given to your maid depends on her attribute. How much trust she has earned from you.

My current helper is a passed down from my FIL who has worked with him for many years. We are comfortable with her and she's great with my daughters.

So after living together with her for a while, i feel she's accountable and did her jobs well, took care of my girls well.

I give her as much "say" at home as possible within means. And we enjoy living together. There was once we bumb into her relatives living in SG too and we get to know each other too.

I am one who is NOT keen to treat helper as "secondary" class member of the family. We are part of the family. It feels better to have that mutual respect.

One of my Indonesian friend was flabbergasted when she saw my helper feeding my girl with her spoon. She's asking, aren't you afraid she may have some germs and pass on to your kid? After talking more, I found out it's about the culture there. Cos the domestic helpers there do not go through any health screening and all, plus it's in the culture to treat domestic helper as secondary class member.

This is the fact of life I supposed.

Some are born in well to do family, some don't. Who choose to be born as a "maid"?

In my conversation with her, she always refer other maid as "auntie" instead of calling those "maids" downstairs. I assume they also don't like to be known as maids. So I'm more careful in the words I use when I need to refer to those "aunties"...

Salah wrote: It jolly well to say that she can get into trouble in her own rights. And may I ask who will be responsible when she get into trouble? The employer is legally bound to take care of her. It is the employer that the law goes after.

Then why bother employing a maid in the first place? I've never had one.

Your narrow-mindedness: "the country need to develop themselves"

Where I have I said this? This is your own quote.

Plavt wrote:My two cents worth; if you can't trust your maid's friends then that implies you don't trust your maid so why have one in the first place?

Why do employers employ maids, because they have a job to do or not? I'm ever so grateful i have the help now otherwise I would have it all to do myself.

wnyw wrote:

Salah wrote:How much freedom you give your maid depends on the maid's attributes. I'll be more at peace knowing who her friends are and what she does on her own and where is she at all time. My mother's maid is a married woman in her late 30s, she is given many freedoms given that she is mature enough handle her life on her own. Having said that, there are maids who are rather young, hardly out of their teens. Some have come from the countryside, the city urban settings can be too overwhelming to these new comers. I believe it's a case to case basis how much freedoms they shld have.

Having lived here for coming 6 months soon, i have seen and heard about this topic.

I agree that the amt freedom to be given to your maid depends on her attribute. How much trust she has earned from you.

My current helper is a passed down from my FIL who has worked with him for many years. We are comfortable with her and she's great with my daughters.

So after living together with her for a while, i feel she's accountable and did her jobs well, took care of my girls well.

I give her as much "say" at home as possible within means. And we enjoy living together. There was once we bumb into her relatives living in SG too and we get to know each other too.

I am one who is NOT keen to treat helper as "secondary" class member of the family. We are part of the family. It feels better to have that mutual respect.

One of my Indonesian friend was flabbergasted when she saw my helper feeding my girl with her spoon. She's asking, aren't you afraid she may have some germs and pass on to your kid? After talking more, I found out it's about the culture there. Cos the domestic helpers there do not go through any health screening and all, plus it's in the culture to treat domestic helper as secondary class member.

This is the fact of life I supposed.

Some are born in well to do family, some don't. Who choose to be born as a "maid"?

In my conversation with her, she always refer other maid as "auntie" instead of calling those "maids" downstairs. I assume they also don't like to be known as maids. So I'm more careful in the words I use when I need to refer to those "aunties"...

Of course there is health screening, your maid will be called in for medical checks

Salah wrote:
How much freedom you give your maid depends on the maid's attributes. I'll be more at peace knowing who her friends are and what she does on her own and where is she at all time. My mother's maid is a married woman in her late 30s, she is given many freedoms given that she is mature enough handle her life on her own. Having said that, there are maids who are rather young, hardly out of their teens. Some have come from the countryside, the city urban settings can be too overwhelming to these new comers. I believe it's a case to case basis how much freedoms they shld have.

I'm from the countyside of a poverty stricken country and probably have a few bad attributes but my Singapore "Boss" still allows me to have friends around and stay out late if I want!

Plavt wrote:My two cents worth; if you can't trust your maid's friends then that implies you don't trust your maid so why have one in the first place?

that's very simple: because i employ the maid not her friends... The one i put my trust in, is the maid, and i won't take her responsible for any of her friend's bad choice, present or future. Would you?

"hey i saw you having lunch with a girl today, her skirt was pretty short: you're fired"
"yesterday i saw one of your friend getting totally drunk and pretty aggressive with other people. How can i trust you now? You're fired"

ksl wrote:Of course there is health screening, your maid will be called in for medical checks

I think she was refering to Indonesia when she said there are no health checks there.

Saint wrote:I'm from the countyside of a poverty stricken country and probably have a few bad attributes but my Singapore "Boss" still allows me to have friends around and stay out late if I want!

You invite your friends around to your boss's house? Do you tell him beforehand? Or just turn up unannounced?

QRM wrote:Many years ago in Hong Kong, I got up for a drink in the middle of the night I walked into the Kitchen. There was huge bloke half naked helping himself to a beer from the fridge. Turns out he was an American Sailor on R&R and the maid asked him over for the night

This could have turned into a real pain in the butt
I do however find the stereotyping of a race by an individuals actions small minded, I personally have found Singaporeans to be friendly unfriendly generous money wise etc etc. same the world over....