Singapore Expats

nakatago wrote:

ladydimante wrote:

boffenl wrote:SOME locals can go all out--especially those with the extra cash to spend. But the vast majority of locals host a homebased celebration, either with family or close friends.

Please do not categorize all locals as crazy birthday party makers--this is simply NOT the case and you leave a very poor impression for expats here on the forum.

Just as you are categorizing most locals as stingy celebrators, I have a right to post my views and experiences. Do be respectful of others and not give expats a poor impression of locals. Your post is rude and offensive.

You're right about having a right to express yourself. However, it baffles me that you find boffenl's post rude and offensive. What exactly makes it rude? She just said that most locals prefer to celebrate at home. I just don't understand why you were offended like that.

Please be careful with how you react as that's how a lot of flame wars here start. I would probably side with you but reading boffenl's post and given her history, being offensive is simply not there in her post.

-Moderator

I am offended because the implication is that I am leaving a bad impression for expats. How is that so if I am posting my own experience? Do people who are on this forum longer have a right to belittle other people's posts like that? My reaction is justified because I am posting about my own party and those of the parties I have been invited to. There is nothing wrong with that.

ladydimante wrote:

nakatago wrote:

ladydimante wrote: Just as you are categorizing most locals as stingy celebrators, I have a right to post my views and experiences. Do be respectful of others and not give expats a poor impression of locals. Your post is rude and offensive.

You're right about having a right to express yourself. However, it baffles me that you find boffenl's post rude and offensive. What exactly makes it rude? She just said that most locals prefer to celebrate at home. I just don't understand why you were offended like that.

Please be careful with how you react as that's how a lot of flame wars here start. I would probably side with you but reading boffenl's post and given her history, being offensive is simply not there in her post.

-Moderator

I am offended because the implication is that I am leaving a bad impression for expats. How is that so if I am posting my own experience? Do people who are on this forum longer have a right to belittle other people's posts like that? My reaction is justified because I am posting about my own party and those of the parties I have been invited to. There is nothing wrong with that.

You have every right to be offended but that doesn't mean you can accuse anyone of being intentionally offensive. Like I said, I and apparently, ecureilx, don't find boffenl's post offensive. If you have an issue with the post, then point it out but don't act out in anger. Your response is accusatory and quite frankly, very aggressive.

You have every right to feel what you feel but you also have the responsibility to act out accordingly. We're trying to encourage civil discourse here with the occasional banter. We're not here to fling accusations and slanderous remarks.

You can give contrary opinions or refute statements without being aggressive.

nakatago wrote:

ladydimante wrote:

nakatago wrote: You're right about having a right to express yourself. However, it baffles me that you find boffenl's post rude and offensive. What exactly makes it rude? She just said that most locals prefer to celebrate at home. I just don't understand why you were offended like that.

Please be careful with how you react as that's how a lot of flame wars here start. I would probably side with you but reading boffenl's post and given her history, being offensive is simply not there in her post.

-Moderator

I am offended because the implication is that I am leaving a bad impression for expats. How is that so if I am posting my own experience? Do people who are on this forum longer have a right to belittle other people's posts like that? My reaction is justified because I am posting about my own party and those of the parties I have been invited to. There is nothing wrong with that.

You have every right to be offended but that doesn't mean you can accuse anyone of being intentionally offensive. Like I said, I and apparently, ecureilx, don't find boffenl's post offensive. If you have an issue with the post, then point it out but don't act out in anger. Your response is accusatory and quite frankly, very aggressive.

You have every right to feel what you feel but you also have the responsibility to act out accordingly. We're trying to encourage civil discourse here with the occasional banter. We're not here to fling accusations and slanderous remarks.

You can give contrary opinions or refute statements without being aggressive.

Thanks for your views, but I still don't see how my reaction is aggressive and people telling me not to post this and that (in self-righteousness) are not. We should just leave the discussion here and agree to disagree.

ladydimante wrote:, but I still don't see how my reaction is aggressive and people telling me not to post this and that (in self-righteousness) are not. We should just leave the discussion here and agree to disagree.

That's the point--people see things differently. Anyway, at least we've come to an understanding now.

ladydimante wrote:What's eating YOU? It shows poor upbringing to be rude.
Just because you haven't been invited to such parties doesn't mean they're not the norm for other people.

I am sorry if I sounded rude to you by just asking why are so violent in your reaction .. last I remember, my catholic school upbringing didn't leave anything to be desired ..

You have the floor and more ..

Cheers ..









And no, I am not one of those who would give an arm and more for one of those parties, though I have been to enough of them and more ..

ladydimante wrote:I'm local and in my circle we really celebrate parties. I have attended lots of toddlers/children parties in hotel ballrooms with giant bouncing castles and playgrounds, some at home, some at restaurants, once even at Rider's Lodge (free pony rides for all kids). Always with lots of entertainment like magicians, balloon makers and popcorn. And because locals are particular about food, there is always a buffet spread.

I just had a big do for my 4-year-old and invited a few expat friends, especially those in her kindy.

So those of you who never go to spectacular local parties, haven't really gotten to know the locals yet!

Not sure which locals I haven't met yet, but I'm sure there are a few million or so. Just as you have not met many of the kids who attend local school with my daughter. Your insunuation that I haven't been around "your kind" of local I find rude. Your experience at extravagant children's parties is NOT the case for the vast, vast majority of Singaporeans or expats either.

This is a forum for Expats to learn more about Singapore--your example was not representative and needed to be called into question. I did that with my post.

I came to the forum to get ideas on venues for my toddler's birthday party and this is the first thread that came up in the search. very unfortunate.

looks like everyone is a bit ignorant of others - and in some cases of even our own respective groups. sounds to me that both expats and singaporeans can be both extravagant and modest. the only reason more expats appear to be more extravagant more often is b/c many expats on on expat packages and find they have more dispoable incomes. plus, many of us don't have family around so we try to make for it.

my 2cents anyway.

so, can anyone suggest some venues? please?
thanks!

I am an expat but in the catering industry. What I have observed is this:

Locals are more willing to spend big $$ on party catering than expats. Perhaps as someone mentioned, parties for locals evolves a lot around food with ALL the aunties etc along, whereas for expats, food is not as important as other aspects of the party such as games, entertainment etc.

Most expats are used to doing their own catering (back home) from simple sandwiches to popcorn etc - they tend to be things one could easily whip up in a normal residential kitchen.

Locals parties tend to invite the whole extended family and their guest numbers are pretty high. Therefore they tend to cater more and are used to it from their frequent eating out habits. With high numbers and the tendency for hot food (noodles etc), they do look more extravagant campared to the old sandwich on a plate.

In general, there are both expats and locals having extravagant parties where catering numbers exceed 50 for a < 10 year old child party as well as numerous requests by both locals and expats for small catering numbers. So, the answer to OP, no, not all expat parties are like that!

Edited by moderator

I'm a part time working mother of 2 young kids.

Been to many children's parties and just had one for my own too at the old Bambini place at Kallang now known as Peek-a-boo. After being to some of the people holding parties for kids and inviting their friends I see my kid enjoying it thoroughly screaming and running around with their friends. This is in contrast to the birthday celebrations i had as a kid! Upbringing certainly had a fix on my perspectives towards parties !

I knew of hosting parties through my expat friends but it seems not all are extravagant parties too. I agree with jshin that everyone is ignorant of others and actually there are fair share of Singaporean parents holding extravagant parties too - just that we dont see them in public that often