Singapore Expats

OogieBoogie wrote: that's very simple: because i employ the maid not her friends... The one i put my trust in, is the maid, and i won't take her responsible for any of her friend's bad choice, present or future. Would you?

Perhaps I haven't made myself clear; if you have doubts about your maid's choice of friends then you clearly have doubts about your maid's credibility in which case why hire such a person to start with? People, maids bus drivers, company directors whoever are human beings and are entitled to some privacy and freedom to do as they chose, not have their lives dictated by some self-centred, conceited and arrogant employer, a description that appears to befit a good many Singaporeans. However, employers themselves are of course entitled to some privacy but should not become control-freaks.

Jeppo wrote:

Saint wrote:I'm from the countyside of a poverty stricken country and probably have a few bad attributes but my Singapore "Boss" still allows me to have friends around and stay out late if I want!

You invite your friends around to your boss's house? Do you tell him beforehand? Or just turn up unannounced?

Singapore Boss = Wife!

Saint wrote:

Jeppo wrote:

Saint wrote:I'm from the countyside of a poverty stricken country and probably have a few bad attributes but my Singapore "Boss" still allows me to have friends around and stay out late if I want!

You invite your friends around to your boss's house? Do you tell him beforehand? Or just turn up unannounced?

Singapore Boss = Wife!

That just proves you're lying, no wife on earth allows her husband to do those things

Plavt wrote: Perhaps I haven't made myself clear; if you have doubts about your maid's choice of friends then you clearly have doubts about your maid's credibility in which case why hire such a person to start with? People, maids bus drivers, company directors whoever are human beings and are entitled to some privacy and freedom to do as they chose, not have their lives dictated by some self-centred, conceited and arrogant employer, a description that appears to befit a good many Singaporeans. However, employers themselves are of course entitled to some privacy but should not become control-freaks.

Point is I don't care of her friend's choice, because it's none of my concern. She has the right to have friend with an alcohol problem or worst. Point is she doesn't control her friend's life. They can do very bad stuff without her knowing it. She can even have been tricked into a fake friendship, jut to enter her employer's house. You're hiring a maid, not a security agent, or financial director. I'm not expecting her to be a Nobel price or have a degree in psychology.
How many moms don't even know their kid is dealing drugs or smoking pot? It doesn't make the mom a bad person that can't be a good employee (except if she's a cop).

All i would ask from a maid is do a good job, and don't bring people i don't know inside my home.

wnyw wrote: In my conversation with her, she always refer other maid as "auntie" instead of calling those "maids" downstairs. I assume they also don't like to be known as maids. So I'm more careful in the words I use when I need to refer to those "aunties"...

Sometimes younger helpers refer to the older helpers as "auntie" (and there might only be a 5 year age difference). Our helper is one of the eldest in the building (at 39) and is referred to as Auntie from the younger girls.

In Indonesia..they call the maid "Bibi"...translated to English..."Auntie"

but then...people mostly use "Tante" which is auntie in Dutch..to call their "real auntie" or they use other language (Java=Bude, etc)

so Bibi is refer to maid....you call your auntie "Bibi" only in textbook of Bahasa Indonesia

well...it does sounds nicer to call them bibi, than..the maid

I think in general, Singaporeans treat foreign workers (construction workers, maids, helpers etc.) very very poorly.

One needs to realise that without the help of them, Singapore would never ever be where she is today; especially with the construction workers. Would Singaporeans ever do the work they do for what, $30 a day? Never.

I wouldn't feel comfortable about letting a stranger into my house, but if my helper asked to speak to her friend outside of the house I don't see any problem with that.

Singaporean employers tend not to trust their maids, hence the no off day, no hand phone, can't speak with other maids rule. They think that the maids will be lead astray by the other maids. That's also the reason why some employers don't give their maids any salary, but will insist that the maid signs on a piece of paper that they have received some money cause it's illegal, because they think that if the maid has money, it will be difficult for them to prove that which is the maid's money and which is the money the maid had stolen!

In a lot of local eyes, maids are employees, they are bond servants like in the old days, that's why they don't see anything wrong with what they are doing. I've tried to ask them how they would feel if their boss told them they have to work 24/7 on call at all hours, won't get paid a salary (money put in the bank but they have no access to withdraw it), eat what they are fed or starve (doesn't seem to matter that the you may not be able to take spicy food etc), can't talk to anyone other than those within your company. can't use the phone during the day, must write snail mail to your family (which your boss will read first before she sends to your family, of course), take you to the zoo to take care of the children but make you pay for the entrance fee by deducting from your salary but the reply I get is that they are not maids, they are professionals!!

There are of course good employers, like there are terribly horrible maids. I do believe though that majority of the maids who come to work can work out if the employers knew how to be a bit more humane.

Allow strangers into my house? I do not know which income bracket you belong to, but do you have any concept of security? The only times where people feel secure leaving their doors unlocked are the times where they have nothing.

Of course there is certain level of trust that we all place in our maids, out of ignorance or otherwise. But greed or any other desire can easily turn a person.

And a personal example. We trust our maid and I actually showed her how our security system functions so she would not disturb it by accident, well most of it fortunately in this case. We have over 10 cameras in the house not including the exterior. And there was this one time where she actually switched off the entire grid just to let a male stranger in!

If not for the motion sensors outside the house co-linked to our neighbor we would never have caught on to the breach. Thank God most of the important rooms are inaccessible or God knows what he would have stole or done.

Either way we never got a straight answer from her and dismissed her the same day. Now in YOUR case, as a home owner I would be extremely troubled if a stranger knew the layout of my house. You could be anyone murderer, rapist or even a terrorist.

You shouldn't experience any dismal that the particular homeowner you encountered, actually allowed you to loiter outside her some while you waited for the conversation to end.

I would probably have dismissed the maid for even asking to let you both in since she obviously have no concern for the security of the house.

From what you have said there isaac09 I would think of your house as more of prison than a home.

OogieBoogie wrote: They can do very bad stuff without her knowing it. She can even have been tricked into a fake friendship, jut to enter her employer's house.

From that statement, I take it everybody you know and have associated with in your life has never committed any crime or petty offense and is of impeccable character and beyond reproach.

All i would ask from a maid is do a good job, and don't bring people i don't know inside my home.

Expecting a good job is reasonable but what about the strangers you have had to let into your house in your life time or doesn't anybody read gas and electricity meters in Singapore?

isaac09 wrote:The only times where people feel secure leaving their doors unlocked are the times where they have nothing.

wrong

Plavt wrote: From what you have said there isaac09 I would think of your house as more of prison than a home. Rolling Eyes

agree with you here, not only his/her house is a prison, but his life is quite a sad game of collecting shiny things and cuddle with them in a fetal position by the corner while screaming "mineeee!!! mineee!!!" interrupted only by a cackling laughter inside his/her fortress...

pretty astute observation I'd say.

isaac09 wrote:Allow strangers into my house? I do not know which income bracket you belong to, but do you have any concept of security? The only times where people feel secure leaving their doors unlocked are the times where they have nothing.

Wow, not even close. There are many reasons not to lock up, maybe people who live behind unlocked doors have diffrent priorities?

isaac09 wrote: We have over 10 cameras in the house not including the exterior.

If not for the motion sensors outside the house

I would be extremely troubled if a stranger knew the layout of my house.

You could be anyone murderer, rapist or even a terrorist.

I would probably have dismissed the maid for even asking to let you both in since she obviously have no concern for the security of the house.

hey, golum... where the heck do you live with your precious?

gaza? baghdad? kabul? detroit?

i am dying to know where such a spectacular fortress of doom is located, can it be seen with google earth?.