Forks wrote:No but if you know someone well enough its not as difficult to see if you really are going the same way or if one or both of you are changing behavior to suit. I dont mean that in a cynical fashion, we do a lot for love but very much of the core of who we are drives us and if we feel the other person is not going the same way it prefigures a lot of things not just adultry but problems in any relationship.
I undertsand your point of view, what concerns me, and I have experienced it very often, is that when a couple meet, the intense sexual expression, is conveyed, much more frequently, while in courtship, than in marriage.
So many are in fact lead into a false state of security, that sexual tendencies, are on a equal footing, although reality is, one or the other is completely, adverse, or less attracted to the sexual act...the first 3 years of marriage, seems to hold pretty well, then when the butter flies have faded, what is left is one partner, attempting to satisfy, their personal needs, that are in fact not very well matched any longer....
Though one may be in love....still with the partner, their needs are not quite satisfied, hence straying, when i say needs, i'm not only refering to copulation, but the need to express love in other social ways too.
My opinion is that we never know, what goes on in the minds of others, and that more open discussion is needed, even then the darkest of secrets, and fantasies maybe far from reality, of what can be excepted in a marriage.
For example, I knew a disc jocky for 20 years, he was married with a beautiful model, and kids, one day, his wife came home, and caught him, dressed up, in her clothes....for all these years, the guy had been hiding his secret, of being a cross dresser. We can laugh about it!
I also know women, to be quite free, with their sexual activities behind their husbands back, simply because they hate sex, but need to be shown love and affection, of which they trade sexual pleasure for.
The problems are underlying, maybe from childhood, who knows, although the difficulty in knowing the person, you are together with, is a wish come true, more than anything else..
Even if you was really to ask the other person, you live with, if you really know them, the answer would be yes dear, you know me, better than anyone, because i am true to you. That is probably the first sign of telling what is seen as harmless white lies, and they are harmless, providing the secrets are never discovered.
I gave up on asking myself, if i really know other people, becuase we do not..although does it really matter, no it doesn't, a couple stay together because they love eachother, they stray also because they love eachother, and cannot get their needs satisfied, or they stray because of disturbed psychological reasons.
My first wife, has been married, 4 or 5 times, when i asked her, if she was still unfaithfull, she admitted, she needs attention from others, after a couple of months, she's never experienced orgasm and says, she thinks something is wrong with herself. I would say yes, something is very wrong.
I met her, when she was 14 and we married 4 years later, I knew her, I knew she was, easy going sexually, but had no idea, how much she craved attention from the opposite sex, and was easy, just to get the attention, its a very sad case, which there are hundreds if not thousands of the same.
It really is better not knowing naything and just living ones life, taking the partner for what they are, I have learnt never ever, try to interfer, with a persons private life from then on, but be prepared for anything.
Also at a young age, I also had my own problems, like why the hell, i wanted to marry at 21, I can honestly say, i was infatuated, not just in love, and infatuation is also a sickness, that needs looking at, why should I be so infatuated....basically what i discovered, was my problem, was one of insecurity.
Being born, to a mother, when she was 42, is not rare, although i asked myself many times, if she really loved me, as a child, it didn't feel like it, although i am sure she did, I was left alone to fend for myself, while she worked, because of her own marriage, difficulties.
So although i became very street wise, I was emotionally lost, and needed someone to love me, not like a mother, but love me, for myself, and the sex was great too, although to much of a good thing, also becomes a bad habit, so when it is moderated, it is also rejection, to one, and not the other. Sexual compatibility is very hard to actually find, because the female virgina, is located at different angles, and penises come in all shapes and sizes, so adaptation and openness, is required for satisfaction and fullfilment.
The other thing is cultural differnces, many of which are so far from the other, women bear children, that's their main function, and may never ever experience enjoyable sexual pleasure, if they are not aware of enjoyment.
Take mainland China, for many years, sex was taboo, the women just had babies, never knowing that sex could be enjoyed, I dated a divorcee, she told me, her hubby would jump on for all of a minute, then sleep, it was routine.
So she broke down crying with me, when i asked what was wrong, she explained all those years, of not knowing, that sex could also be wonderful.
So I remain open minded, these days, I'm not one to cheat on my partner, although I can also see, that my wife, doesn't have the same, needs, that i do.
So i also have to show, consideration, to balance harmony, simply because i do know, my own sexual needs, are much stronger, and although we can have fun and games, by teasing occassionally the signal needs to be transmitted, "That hey, what about me"....if I'm not looked after I will stray, could become true.
Basic needs, are like basic functions! So I must say, its my opinion, we will never really know eachother, although it doesn't stop us, from communicating.
Never again sunshine reggae, only one way to do it, tell them to close the door on the way out, and lock it. 
and I have never been so wealthy for many years, of paying the price, of love. 
So funny! 