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https://www.singaporeexpats.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=146290
I've often thought we need a service where overwhelmed parents can put their kids, even temporarily or for a long time if need be, if overwhelmed.Lisafuller wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 2:20 amAs much as I feel for the poor boys, I can’t help but feel for the father as well. It’s very difficult to empathize with the weight of raising special needs kids, especially 2 of them. Wish they all could have received more help, perhaps it would have prevented this tragedy.
Yes, hope there will be more support for parents in need of such help to offload the children to care centres to help watch over their children for certain days a week/ or just when needed. Sometimes for the whole family it's just overwhelming so outside help would be beneficial for the parents to just take a break and breathe.PNGMK wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 9:28 amI've often thought we need a service where overwhelmed parents can put their kids, even temporarily or for a long time if need be, if overwhelmed.Lisafuller wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 2:20 amAs much as I feel for the poor boys, I can’t help but feel for the father as well. It’s very difficult to empathize with the weight of raising special needs kids, especially 2 of them. Wish they all could have received more help, perhaps it would have prevented this tragedy.
Well we know how Lisa feels about 18 yo daughters....abbby wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 10:09 amYes, hope there will be more support for parents in need of such help to offload the children to care centres to help watch over their children for certain days a week/ or just when needed. Sometimes for the whole family it's just overwhelming so outside help would be beneficial for the parents to just take a break and breathe.PNGMK wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 9:28 amI've often thought we need a service where overwhelmed parents can put their kids, even temporarily or for a long time if need be, if overwhelmed.Lisafuller wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 2:20 amAs much as I feel for the poor boys, I can’t help but feel for the father as well. It’s very difficult to empathize with the weight of raising special needs kids, especially 2 of them. Wish they all could have received more help, perhaps it would have prevented this tragedy.
I hope the case can be handled compassionately- take into account factors like mental state and the pressures he was under. I could be wrong, but I don’t believe any parent would ever kill their children, unless they somehow believed it was their last option (even then I don’t think I could ever) although I would never know unless I was in his position. Also, I’m not sure why he’s only been charged for the murder of one of the kids but not the other. Any idea?PNGMK wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 9:26 amWell let's be careful - the father is only alleged to have killed his kids and is (even in Singapore) innocent until convicted. Also it is very difficult for a person charged here to have adequate legal support once they are under arrest and unfortunately there is no right to silence - the courts and the SPF can take silence as an admission of guilt and there is no limitation on how long they can hold you. So...
SPF OIC: "Did you kill your kids?", "Did you push your kids", "did you hurt your kid" ad infinitum for hours and hours
Overwhelmed father stunned into silence: "....."
SPF OIC "Aiyah this one must be guilty, send to AGC then we wash hands".
I'm certainly hoping they have other evidence as well ....
Completely agree. Even if it may be a socially unpopular move to leave your kids with caretakers at a facility, at least they would be cared for and the parents would have some time to clear their heads until they’re in a better place to raise their kids.PNGMK wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 9:28 amI've often thought we need a service where overwhelmed parents can put their kids, even temporarily or for a long time if need be, if overwhelmed.Lisafuller wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 2:20 amAs much as I feel for the poor boys, I can’t help but feel for the father as well. It’s very difficult to empathize with the weight of raising special needs kids, especially 2 of them. Wish they all could have received more help, perhaps it would have prevented this tragedy.
I think one of the reasons this isn’t being done in SG is just because of the taboo surrounding having others caring for ones children. People here would rather have their parents/in-laws watch over their kids than have an “outsider” do the job, and the parents/ in-laws are happy to do it!abbby wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 10:09 amYes, hope there will be more support for parents in need of such help to offload the children to care centres to help watch over their children for certain days a week/ or just when needed. Sometimes for the whole family it's just overwhelming so outside help would be beneficial for the parents to just take a break and breathe.PNGMK wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 9:28 amI've often thought we need a service where overwhelmed parents can put their kids, even temporarily or for a long time if need be, if overwhelmed.Lisafuller wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 2:20 amAs much as I feel for the poor boys, I can’t help but feel for the father as well. It’s very difficult to empathize with the weight of raising special needs kids, especially 2 of them. Wish they all could have received more help, perhaps it would have prevented this tragedy.
Right, in this article it says he was charged for the murder of his “son” when clearly 2 of them were murdered. Why has he only been charged for one of them? Do the charges somehow overlap?
What am I missing here? I’ve got an 18 year old girl, you definitely know that by now, and I would have never placed her in a facility, although she’s not special needs so there’s no way I can even begin to imagine his situation.PNGMK wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 10:14 amWell we know how Lisa feels about 18 yo daughters....abbby wrote: ↑Mon, 24 Jan 2022 10:09 amYes, hope there will be more support for parents in need of such help to offload the children to care centres to help watch over their children for certain days a week/ or just when needed. Sometimes for the whole family it's just overwhelming so outside help would be beneficial for the parents to just take a break and breathe.
I was thinking much along the same lines. I hope the father will give some clarity before he's dealt with.
Hahaha, that’s what I figured but wanted to be sure. Unlike you, I’m not really able to imagine why he was only charged for one, guess we will just have to wait for more to come out in the news.