Singapore Expats

Pretty upset ...
Is it fate ? Is it my own stupidness ? Is it meant to be this way ?
Alot of questions in me..

yah, lots of ppl will be pointing fingers at me.. But i just fall for a MBA - married man.
A married man without children. he told me he dnt love her.. how true is that ? i am not interested to know.
What i know is he used to be very serious and truthfully to be until, i left for a green pasture.. now the green turn brown i am back to him again.

And here i am struck in the cycle again.
i left out of love, return out of love.
i love him, yet i cnt have this man. He dote me do anything for me just couldn't give me status. i ask if status is so important to me.
No the answer is not.. I just want him to company me love me stay with me.. i hate to be remind esp when i need him most, he couldn't be here with me.

I ask myself why i cause my own miserables ?
but yet again i love him.
Lots of ladies who been to these route told me it's nt worth it..
but i just cnt help struck n in love in here...

Yet another deluded cheating marriage breaker deluding herself that what she is doing is ok.
Don't bring love and all that in to this. You were the one who knew he was married and you are the one in the wrong.
Why bother to tell you this as you will keep on cheating with him anyway.
If I found out my husband was cheating I wouldn't deal with him before I made sure the woman involved was seen to. It is lucky for you it is not my man you are messing with, you would soon be sorry. Yes it is his choice but there are three people in cheat stories and I say that wives who find this out should not take it and hope their waster men stay.
I would find out who you are, tell all your friends, your family and your boss and everyone in your office. I would be places you would not expect me to be. I would embarrass you in bars and on the street. I would make you realise that it was you also in the wrong at that first decision, to shag a married man.

why do women want to have anything to do with such useless men? is love really blind? or do we choose to be blinded?

imho, it's no one's fault (stupidity doesn't count), but the man's alone. The woman might be stupid/naive to be led on, but if the man didn't make the move, she wouldn't have been a victim.
and the poor wifey at home is spending tonnes of her energy on the Other Woman (or OW as in ojar.com), instead of seeing the real problem lies within "her" man.

if it's not with this woman, it's with another, and another, and another. Find all of them? Embarrass all of them in front of all their families and all their friends and all their colleagues and all their offices in the entire CBD?!

Whence shall it end?

I also married, no children, have one mistress.. it's life, accept it easy...........

You know you're not happy. But you're not emotionally strong to get out of the situation. You're basically the one causing your own unhappiness. I hope you're not expecting sympathy from others because you're unlikely to get it.

I was jsut going to post something about revenge and then saw this post- well actually I think the married man is at fault. the single woman or unattached woman is emotionally free so its understandable that she is seeking love and affection etc. The married man on the other hand has no excuse.. IF he is unhappy he should move out of the house THEN start a relationship with whoever he wants, but for any asshole married guy to have affairs whilst STILL married is no excuse.

Unhappy? tough luck, go talk to yr wife about it, go see counsellor, medicine man, priest, whatever but dont go and bullshit to the single woman out there about what an unhappy married life u got. FCK YOU!!

I strongly urge all single women involved with married men to make sure their wives know about it!! Yes you may lose him but at least he wont be good little husband lying in bed with wife, probably screwing her as well, then coming to you and telling you his sob story!!

So TO ALL WOMEN HAVING AFFAIRS WITH MARRIED MEN- TELL HIM TO STOP BULLSHITTING YOU AND MAKE SURE HIS WIFE, PARENTS, RELATIVES, CO-WORKERS , AND EVERY BLOODY KNOWS HE IS LYING TO HIS WIFE (OF COURSE HE IS LYING TO YOU TOO, SILLY GIRL!!) be prepared to lose him but not before you break him down into little pieces first!!

I dont care whose fault it is, his or the slag he is knocking off. I would give them both hell and believe me she would get the worst of it.
Why should wives be understanding and forgiving? Why do the cheap women think they can just get away with it. Both are in it up to their eyes and both deserve to be sorted out. I say wives and girlfriends all over should get back at those who cheated on her, husband and girlfriend. If there was more of this kind of thing then perhaps these cheap women would think twice before taking their knickers off.
'I'm in lurrvve with him'.........give me a break, and pass the sickbag.

riversandlakes wrote:imho, it's no one's fault (stupidity doesn't count), but the man's alone.

It always takes two to tango. It's a cop out to leave her blameless. It doesn't happen without the willing participation of both partners.

Strong Eagle wrote:

riversandlakes wrote:imho, it's no one's fault (stupidity doesn't count), but the man's alone.

It always takes two to tango. It's a cop out to leave her blameless. It doesn't happen without the willing participation of both partners.

And good morning to you too SE. Have a nice day and don'g forget to log out before you go............

mrs ho wrote:
Pretty upset ...
Is it fate ? Is it my own stupidness ? Is it meant to be this way ?
Alot of questions in me..

Fate? No!
Stupidness? Yes!
Meant to be this way? No!

A lot of people pointing fingers because... you asked for it.

No need to cry 'poor me' now. A man who is married that will not deal with the problems of his own marriage before trying to fix them is not necessarily a coward, but is demonstrating cowardly behavior.

Why associate with people like that? Make ammends then run in the other direction.

You left the married man for another guy. When that didn't work out, you went back to the married man. Why do you always have to have someone, be loved by someone? Why can't you be alone and love yourself?

Sorry if I don't sound sympathetic. If you don't have the willpower to leave him, nobody can give it to you. Stop whinging and do something about it. Sign up at a gym, classes, SDU/SDS, online dating, whatever. Find new things to do, new people to see. You'll forget about this useless man in a flash.

You're only a victim because you allowed yourself to be one.

She is obviously unhappy. Maybe she just need a kick in the butt to wake up. She failed to realize some points:

Only you give yourself happiness, not your man, not your family, not anyone else. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a man truly loves you, nothing can keep him away. Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. Would he let a woman he TRULY love, be in a mistress position??? and even get upset????

You cannot change a man's behaviour. Change comes from within.

NEVER borrow someone else's man! If he cheated with you, he will cheat on you!

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

Last of all, don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

I think we hear the above so often but I guess it needs drilling into some's brain more than the others!

Trust me, if you think you deserved a married man..than perhaps you do deserve being unhappy n upset!

Can't agree more with locallass....

locallass wrote:You're only a victim because you allowed yourself to be one.

Ms Ho, have you ever stop and think about the other party??? the wife feeling? the kids (if they had one) feeling if they found out about you? your family's feeling???life is not just revolve around you...its larger than that.

My point of view, married men not even eligible for flirting with..once you playing with fire then expected to be burn by it....so just put a stop sign at his forehead (imaginary, of course) to remind yourself...

just my two cents

Benoite Groult, 'salt on my skin'.

Read it, it is enlightening.

Eric

To Mrs Ho.

I can't begin to say how much I sympathize with you.
However, let me put this to you as nicely as I can, that man is lying to you. And of course he'll tell you how much he 'loves' you, how much he 'needs' you, and how sorry his life is because his wife doesn't love him, etc, etc, all those reasons he'd spend days thinking over with a brain like that.
If he told you you're just a bed warmer to spice things up when he shags his wife after having a quickie with you, and a free one at that because he'd still have to pay a prostitute money and he's too much of a cheapskate to do that, what would you do?
Would you still "love" this man who whispers sweet words of venom into your ear?

If you want to love a man, look for an honest, decent and honourable man. Don't pull yourself down to that level to find a love that will fulfill you, because it won't.
He will lie to get you in bed with him, to treat you like a free prostitute - and laugh behind your back at how immensely naive, how stupid and gullible you are to let him have your body, because your heart is merely a by-product of the goal he really wants - free, uncommited sex.

He isn't willing to leave his family, the woman who bears his children, behind because they are his commitment, his investment. he runs his family like a business and you're his dirty little trade secret he knows will bring his entire business down if his partner (wife) finds out.
She will leave him. Of course she will.

You are nothing to him but a hobby. A snack. An in-flight meal he'll forget.
I'm sorry to say this so harshly, but you have to know what truth is and how painful it can be before you realise you're giving yourself to something that isn't worth it.

If he loved you so much, why is he still with his wife? How long has he been saying he will "divorce" her, or he will "leave" her? Or, did he even mention it at all?
You're the annoynomous sms on his phone he erases before his wife sees. You're the "wrong number" on the phone whenever his wife walks into the bedroom/living room. You're the "office girl" he stays back to handle "projects" with and instruct to clean the office after work. What are you? You're a lie he is living, and he will do anything to make sure you don't exist in his life.

Please, love yourself. You have to love yourself before you love others. And if he's too busy giving his love to others, you're nothing but some cheap, free sexual outlet he can practice all his dirtiest, most disgusting sexual desires he'd never even dream of doing with his wife because of the disrespect involved in it. His own pleasure matters more than yours, and if it's just sweet words, some occasional flowers and a meal with you, one or two fun outings that's probably going to end up with some free sex and heavy make-out sessions, why the hell not would he care about paying so little on his part to receive so much on yours?

Please, at least, think about this.
Don't trade your body off freely for nothing, for peanuts. You're worth more than some swindling gambler who gambles his wife, children, and another woman's (yours) heart and body for his own selfish desires, reasons, and pleasure.
If you go out, make friends, join a course, a hobby at a community centre, volunteer somewhere where people need the love and time you spend on this man, you'll find that there are many good, decent man who can truly appreciate you for what you are, what you can give.