Singapore Expats

I sunk my boat at the boat ramp a few month's back. I put it in the water without the bung in it and then went off and parked my car. Everyone thought it was highly amusing, especialy my mechanic.

Pouring Jack Daniels into a frying pan thinking its cooking oil is stupid?

depends.... If you would take a cooking oil on the rocks later at night, I think you mixed up something?

Eric

When I was at University, one of my classmates got into his car one morning. He started the engine but the car would not move. He checked the brakes, still not moving. He then went out of the car and realized someone had put the car on bricks and stolen the 4 wheels!

Military intelligence is an oxymoron.
The most funniest things I ever heard were in few armies went thru.

The actual story happened in Ukrainian army. That time I was in military university for the training. One lecturer ( a colonel) was smoking in toilet. Suddenly, a fire extinguisher hung on the wall felt down and started. The colonel took it and started to throw the foam from the fire extinguisher into the toilet bowl. He also decided to call somebody for help. Another colonel came to help after he heard the 1st colonel. He ran into the toilet, look at the guy throwing foam into the toilet bowl, get another extinguisher and help first colonel to extinguish the bowl.

Colonels never run, because it causes panic among lowest ranks and it is funny for higher ranks.

I've got a cold that's hung around for a few weeks and is clouding my brain (that's my excuse anyway!)

Yesterday I was frantically trying to find my watch, which was on my wrist....

And then a few days before that while getting out of a cab, trying to put the receipt in my wallet I had my phone tucked between my ear and shoulder talking to a friend. I was putting my bag on my shoulder, I had my iPod and wallet in the other trying to put the receipt away. I shut the door and as the cab drove away I paniced thinking I had left my phone in the cab, I tried to stop the cab, while complaining on my phone to my friend. They were laughing so hard because I was talking to them on the phone...

@ all of us.

I had one just today. I had a meeting with two clients, I spent the entire meeting trying to remember the wife's name. I knew it started with K.
About an hour after the meeting I remembered it was Kay!

lol.

Anyone else out there ever lock their keys in the car while the engine was running? Nowadays cars don't let this happen - but about 10 years ago it was still possible - i promise...

We had just buried my bachelor uncle & were sitting at the table writing thank yous for those that helped in any way, when we receive a phone call from the dry cleaners. He was asking about a suit my brother had taken to get cleaned. The suit was the one my uncle had been buried in. It seems that the dry cleaner had mismatched the pants to that suit. He was a bit disappointed when I was the one who had to explain that my uncle had been buried in the suit. We all had a good chuckle about uncle being buried in the wrong pants! Uncle was probably up there saying something to the effect, "J---- C-----, can't those children do anything right?"

Just the other day I went with mum to buy some vegetables at one of those remote farm locations here in the UK. After she bought them she gave me the car keys and asked me to put them in the car. When I got to the car I could not open the door or the boot. What I had not noticed is there were two red cars outside the farm very the other very similar to our own. I was trying to get into the farm assistant's car much to her amusement.

Plavt.

Once upon a time, a senior member of the company asked me for my honest assessment of the organisation. I gave it to him.

Years ago, I went out with my then-boyfriend for dinner. I realised I left my handphone in the car and went back for it. I knew I left my phone on my seat but I just couldn't it. I searched high and low for a few minutes. Then it hit me- how come the contents in the rest of the car also looked different? I was searching somebody else's car!!! It was of the same colour and same model but parked a few steps away from my boyfriend's car. Somehow his car key could also open the car. I wonder if the other guy's key could also open my boyfriend's car too

Anyway I was too stunned to do anything but laugh. I did however manage to locate my handphone in the end.