Singapore Expats

I am having a huge problem with my teenage niece. She is 15 this year. She thinks that the whole world is wrong and she and her friends are the only right ones. If the parents talk to her then they are "Controlling" her and she refuses to go to school as she thinks it is a waste of time.

My brother is now totally frustrated, lost and miserable. He even turned to a private counsellor that charges him $150 an hour. But she is still so difficult to handle.

She used to be the top student at her school. That was like a year ago but she has changed so much.

Now she mixes around with this group of friends and refuses to go to school. She has not been to school for the past one month. She is now into body piercing, uses bad language, screams at the parents and goes home at 2.00 am or sometimes doesn't even go home with the excuse that her firends are holding a BBQ and she stays out overnight. There was also a case where her gang fought with another gang at the HDB void decks and was asked to go to the police station to make a report.

She has ran away from home twice. We searched her usual hideout places and managed to find her.

I am not sure if the school education has changed because in my days if I didn't go school for one week, the school would have expelled me immediatly. But her school Principal says let her be as this is a common issue they face.

I really am trying to find ways to help my brother and niece.

Do you know of anyone in similiar position trying to get his/her daughter back to change? I need to ask how to handle this type of problem teenage.

Is there a place to send her to so that she can listen to someone?

Looking for advice

CK35,

Food for thought if she is really out of control:

Toa Payoh Girls Home

Church groups? Not very religious myself so don't know how effective these actually are.

good luck

Hi,

Yes we did think about the Girls Home option as well as boarding school.

Actually, she has friends in the Girls Home but one of this managed to run away from there. The police are still looking for this girl. What she told me is when the girls enter the Girl's Home, the experienced one will bully the new ones..then until they are "seasoned" it will be their turn to bully the new ones. So it is like a cycle.

I really hope we can try something and this is really like a last resort.

Church we tried but as she does not know anyone so she didn't want to go.Plus she sleeps until 3 pm in the afternoon after the night out and we are unable to wake her up to go for service.

Hi, CK35, looking that what you have mention, now she only listen to her friends and she feel good and when she hang out with them. Right now you all wont be able to handle her, counseling should be able to help. Try give her some attention, talk to her.