Singapore Expats

We are in the very early stages of deciding whether to move to Singapore from Australia.

The plan would be that I would work full-time and my husband would be a stay-at-home dad with our 2 children (Aged 4.5 & 1 year). I would appreciate some comments from other stay at home dads ... how are you finding it? Are there many of you? Any regrets?

Your comments would be greatly appreciated.

Hmm haven't met ANY stay-at-home Dads in Singapore as yet, but surely(??) there must be some?
We moved from UK to Thailand 5 years ago (then on to Singapore 1 year ago). My husband was a stay at home Dad and really it was the BEST decision he ever made (Yep even above marrying me!). He spent age 7months to 3.5 with our daughter. He dropped out of an excellent career to do so and we weren't sure that he would be able to get back in that easily (as it happened he was offered a top job in Singapore so dropping out for almost 4 years made no difference to him).
He saw her first steps, taught her to swim, introduced her to new foods, took her to playgroups, everything. In this day and age that kind of interaction is a rarity for fathers so any father than can actually do it should feel blessed honoured and really jump at the chance. He will definatly not regret it. My husbands friends are actually outspokenly jealous of the interaction and bond he now has with his daughter. The first 5 years are THE most important to a child's development, so a decision like the one you are about to make is an amazing step. All the best!

Contact ANZA, the Australia and New Zealand Association in Singapore. They've got a website. They have a men's group for accompanying husbands and dads and you might be able to get in touch with some of them. I've met a few stay-at-home dads here. It's more uncommon than in the UK where I'm from but certainly not unknown, although you will get a few curious questions as it's unusual to singaporeans. Someone set up a new group recently which was meeting at Tanglin Village. I'll post the contact if I can find it again.

Hi,

I'm a journalist who's keen to cover a story on Singaporean house husbands. Prospective interviewee(s) must be willing to appear on-screen. If you know any, please holler to me at [email protected].

Tks

I'm a stay-at-home dad for my daughter who is now 5 1/2.

She's in school from 8:30 until 3:00 each day, so I do get some time to myself, and am with her the rest of the time.

Not sure about your quesitons, so I'll give you some general observations, and then fire away if you would like more info. . .

We're from the US, been here nearly 2 years, I've been with her since birth as a stay-at-home. I love her and usually enjoy our time together, but it's not without some regrets. My career skills have slipped and I will be less employable when I'm ready to return to work. Still it's a great life experience, with an enrichment that I could have never otherwise enjoyed.

On to the Singapore Stay-at-Home Dad Experience:

Some of the negative stuff:

You're really on an island here, literally and figuratively. Most of the kids who I know in our area are tended to by their nannies/maids. And while the nannies & maids are usually very sweet and charming, it's tough to come up with much in common to talk about. There are some options on taking your kids places, the Zoo, Bird Park, or some indoor playgrounds (e.g. Gogo Bambini, etc.), but still, you're not often going to find many kids with dads, and often the moms are in their own circle of friends. I think that's harder to break through than I experienced in the US.

As long as we have been here, I still can't quite accept how stinking hot it is in Singapore. Any outdoor activity with kids, on the playground, riding bikes, walking to the store. . .they're all pretty uncomfortable. And my daughter is very fair in complexion, so I'm constantly worried about sunscreen, etc.

There aren't many big, traditional playgrounds here with slides and swings and frisbee games, etc. Or if they are, I just haven't seen them.

I'm over generalizing here, but it's my experience that Singaporean kids are so busy doing schoolwork and school-related activities that you'll often find friends in other expats for playdays and the like. Local kids are often too busy. There's nothing wrong with that, but it does seem segregated.

Beer is absurdly expensive. After playing with my kid all day, getting her fed, bathed and sleeping at the end of the day deserves a reward that shouldn't require a 2nd mortgage.

Here's some of the positives:

Singapore is a breeze to find things that you want.

I love and admire the maid population that I have come to know. They work tirelessly and provide safety and attention to kids who play in their groups.

You can find swimming and tennis instructors who will come to your home. Ballet classes, music lessons, martial arts, visual arts, cooking for kids, etc. There are industries built around kids' "enrichment" that go beyond classroom learning.


If your husband can handle being the lone wolf, whose role seems mystifying to taxi-drivers and security guards, it's a terrific place to raise young kids.

Best wishes!

There are lots of expat stay-at-home dads--they just like to stay in the background and raise their kids--much like the stay at home moms in town. Not too community minded, but I hazard a guess none would take back the experience of staying home with their kid(s).

Hi, I'm a stay at home dad. From the U.S. and have been here about eight months and will be here another 2-3 years. My daughter is 4 years old and is in preschool half of the day.

I have had the same experience posted above about the difficulty in meeting local children. Almost all of the kids at my daughter's preschool are schoolbussed in or their helper picks them up, so it's been hard to meet local parents.

We have a good time though, just the two of us. I haven't seen other stay at home dads and we are not near downtown, which is where much of the expat community is located. I would say it is not any more isolating here than in the U.S. However, the universal question in both Singapore and everywhere else I've traveled with my daughter in SE Asia is: "Where is the mother?" It is always the first question.