Singapore Expats

I have been married with my husband for 8 years and have two kids.
We have several maids from Indonesia in the past, the last one was a 40 year old woman with some kind of leprosy skin condition all over her body.
We took her to the doctors and have her cleaned up.
She left to Indonesia when her condition got worse and we paid for all her medical expenses. The new maid was also from Indonesia.
She is a 22 year old and is very outgoing.
We treated her kindly, took her with us on vacations.
then i got the bomb.
my husband admitted last Oct 2007 that he had been having sexual affairs with all the previous maid, including the latest one.
he wants to be baptized in a Baptist Church and repent.
Ok, how convenient of him to tell me in that manner.
am i supposed to let go and forget it?
and plus on my recent women's exam, i just found out that i have STD.
Sexually Transmitted Disease, from him.
I have to go back to the gyno in about 6 months to do the AIDS test.
Is this fair for me? fOR US?
i asked him how it happened and as any typical guys would say, he told me she came on to him and after a while he took the bait.
he would come home during lunch break everyday and would have sex in the house, in my bed, in the park, with my 5 year old present.
to Top it All, they both drink WINES from our wedding night, that I have never opened.
I was saving it for our 10 year anniversary.
I reported the maid to the agency and she was deported instantly
And even though he said he has repented since he became baptized, i later found out that he has been sending her $1000/monthly to her.
they would still email and sms to each other.
Am I to tolerate this?
Am I selfish to take my 2 kids away to my parents house?
Please advise.

Sounds like he has lost the plot.

Believe you are correct mvoing away from him until he wakes up or you call it quits for good.

Don't just blame the maid or your husband. It's time to look at yourself also. Whether are you treating him well etc etc. Of course, he was wrong.

Give him a chance if you can. If you cannot, you'd better divorce.

brifusg wrote:Don't just blame the maid or your husband. It's time to look at yourself also. Whether are you treating him well etc etc. Of course, he was wrong.

Give him a chance if you can. If you cannot, you'd better divorce.

shagging the maid is one thing, shagging the second one is another thing, but to give your wife STD?AIDS, wow... that's a life sentence!

Take it from someone who knows better...they all repent...until the next time.

Tell him to get lost and find someone worthy of you and your kids. I could say a lot more but the words are probably not suited to public viewing.

Be strong and dont forget...you deserve better and you can easily get better then that.

Sounds like a wind-up but in case it's true: Toss his sorry ass. Life is too short to waste with someone so self-centered and cruel.

Its not even Friday. I thought it was a wind up, too.

If not, I would definitely visit a lawyer to get those divorce papers written up real quick. Don't forget that he pays for all the medical bills. I hope you have kicked his sorry a** out of your home or better yet have leased an apt with him footing the bill.

Good luck.

If it's not a wind-up, then she got what she deserves. If she insisted on sticking around in the first place and then find out all the other stuff after she found out about the infidelity and stayed with him anyway, I'd say she's a doormat.

If it's not a wind-up, I have to ask, what is taking her so long to leave. Doesn't she have any common sense at all?

sundaymorningstaple wrote:Doesn't she have any common sense at all?

Must be Singaporean.

sundaymorningstaple wrote:If it's not a wind-up, then she got what she deserves. If she insisted on sticking around in the first place and then find out all the other stuff after she found out about the infidelity and stayed with him anyway, I'd say she's a doormat.

If it's not a wind-up, I have to ask, what is taking her so long to leave. Doesn't she have any common sense at all?

The problem here is that we only heard this story from one side. They themselves know their problem well. In my opinion, when this kind of problem happens, one cannot just blame other parties.

If it's not a wind-up, I will admit that I would agree with you. There are always two sides to every story. But as far as I'm concerned, infidelity on either side is grounds enough for me. If they were playing tit for tat, then she is still a doormat.

dump his ass..take 1/2 his money and make him "REALLY" repent
capitalism is great!

also..sorry to hear ur story...best of luck

Its pretty obvious that the lady still has feelings for her hubby, doormat or not and while its nice to say "take the $$$" its not really going to make her feel better, otherwise she would have taken the $$$ and not bothered posting here. Given all that it does read like a wind up, but the grammar mistakes indicate that it was written by someone who is not a native speaker, Im going to guess that it aint.

I'm pretty sure that is child abuse. Forget about saving your husband and your marriage save your child.

LJC wrote:I'm pretty sure that is child abuse. Forget about saving your husband and your marriage save your child.