Singapore Expats

Hi, anyone finding it hard to cope with having a maid ?

I gave birth to my first child 5mts ago and just recently had to return to full time work. My maid seems to not only be looking after my child but my husband my house and my life too. I feel redundant and I'm finding it very difficult to cope with this way of life with having a strange woman fulfill my role in the home.

Thoughts ?

She's doing what she is supposed to do.

Enjoy the opportunity to define your life as something other than merely the person looking after your child, your husband and your house.
Do those things when you want to because you want to, not because you have to or because it's your role.

Just think of her as someone who helps around the house so you can have free time to pursue other things. Like perhaps indulge in hobbies you've always wanted to do. Or just do the fun stuff with your baby and leave the washing up of the baby stuff to your helper.

If you're not used to having a maid or helper around your place, you do need some time to getting used to it. Don't resent her. She's not replacing you. Just relax and enjoy having the extra time on your hands.

maneo wrote:She's doing what she is supposed to do.

I don't think so, I think she's doing what she thinks you want her to do. Sit her down and in the nicest possible way tell her what you like about her performance, and clearly what her job entails. Spell it out in the simplest way, she'll get it, and if she doesn't then she's probably not the right maid for you.

Our maid certainly does not look after my husband or my life, her job description wasn't always so clear -- we had to work at it, but we've been together a long time and now it works fine.

HI Bods, maybe you can explain what you mean by ..looking after your husband and your life ?

just be carefule , get old married maids

I also have a maid for the first time. I was sure that I would not be able to cope with having her around just about 24/7. In truth by the end of the week I really look forward to Sundays (her day off). We have only had her 2 months now and I am slowly getting used to it, but as I mentioned I hang for sundays.
My children are 6 and 8 years old and I back home in Australia was your typical stay at home mum, I did all the cleaning, cooking, running children everywhere...etc everything mums in Australia do. I know of a few chinese families in our condo that treat their maids like s**t. They make their maids doabsoloutly everything. I on the otherhand still prefer to get up in the mornings and get the kids breakfast, help them with their homework and heaps of other stuff. She just basically cleans and babysits when we need it. All you need to do is tell her what you would and would not like her to do. Remember you are her boss she will totally understand.

Maids actually love these kinds of situations where they get every Sunday off and the missus wants to do things.

Of course, others will say you are spoiling the maids and spoiling the market.