Singapore Expats

I am an unwed mom with a 3-year-old baby boy.

By writing in this page, I hope to reach out to those single parents out there to share with me their views and experience.

My ex-boyfriend and I were living together for about 6 years and we got separated some time last year.

Honestly, it’s kinda tough when my baby asks me about his dad. Most of the time, I feel that I can’t cope.

Now there’s only me and my baby at home, and most of the time I don’t go outdoor.

Many have advised me that no matter what, a kid would need a father figure.

Other than that, I feel very blessed and happy with my life, alone with my baby.

I really would appreciate if someone out there would be kind enough to share with me any views, advice, or experience……….

The short answer is yes, especially if you have a boy. Boys need positive male role models. This doesn't mean a husband or boyfriend for you -- it could be your father, your brother, a friend, an uncle -- anyone who has their head screwed on straight. My advice would be to take your time and be careful of who you let into your little circle.

All young people need Positive Role Models. Full Stop. In the absence of a father they need a strong, positive mother especially plus a core group of extended family/friends that they can look towards to define how people should be in the world.
An asbsent father is better than an abusive cruel one, so you should feel blessed that at least you do not have negativity from a father source.
Likewise however you MUST go outside your door, live you life to the max all the whilst showing your young son what beauty there is in your world.
Much love!xxx

Having grown up in a single parent family myself, my mother having died when I was two yrs old. I didn't know I had something missing until I was thirtyfive yrs old. Positive female role models didn't enter my life until I had already formed opinions based without them. In saying that people think I turned out all right, whereas my two brothers are at two different extremes. One turned to religion and the other to gangs, and me I'm somewhere in the middle. What I'm trying to say is, exposing your child to experiences from both male and female role models is always beneficial, but not the be all and end all of things. Give your child the love that he deserves and enjoy life.

doesnt your baby boy see his father???

durain wrote:doesnt your baby boy see his father???

No Durain,

We had an ugly break up so we sort of totally not in touch now.

But there are times, when I tried calling, for my baby's sake, he refused to take my call.

And my baby is having some kidney problem which I don't wish to elaborate in this forum, had to go for op last year. He knew about it. He did not come to visit, neither did he call to check on our boy......

Trinity511 / Thaiclan :

Thank you so much for sharing your views and experience........ God bless