Singapore Expats

With the recent news of my pregnancy, my husband and I finally decided to hire an in-house maid to take care of my later stage of pregnancy and the newborn. This will be our first baby, my hubby travels a lot for work and neither of us has family members around to give a hand. I'm feeling quite overwhelmed Therefore we think it's a good idea to hire a filipino maid with nursing background and real life experience with newborns.

We have contacted a few maid agencies at Lucky Plaza and Bukit Timah Plaza, but so far we haven't found any candidates that meet our requirements. A couple of candidates have a bachlor in nursing, but they are only fresh graduates with no day-to-day experience. Others have experience but only a one-year diploma/certificate in midwifery. We are not sure whether it's more important to find someone older and more experienced or someone young and more educated. Any advice or experience to share?

This is our first time looking for a full-time maid, if you have any advice on which agencies are good and tips for an interview, please share with me.

I think you should get a confinement lady first and she will train your full time maid. The one I had was very good, no qualms about teaching and training the maid on how to clean, cook and take care of baby.

With my firstborn we got a helper that had 3 kids and experience too but also wanted to learn so I sent for first aid etc. Better to get a maid now that you have some understanding before the child comes.

Also book the confinement nanny asap (if you go this route, let me know, I have posted Wendy's contact in this forum, she speaks english and will also do your wet "marketing").

CarolynW has a great idea so if you can afford it, hire both women so you don't have to be doing all the training etc and can just focus on the baby and yourself...but if you cannot afford having both at the same time, i would first try and get someone through a friend's referral rather than an agency. someone's whose family is returning to their country of orgin not someone who is not renewing their contract again. also, i would look for someone who is older with kids of their own. ideally you want a helper that is married, has children and ties back in Philippines so she has baby experience and she's not going to run off.

Thank you both for the advice.

The confinement nanny option sounds quite practical. I found quite a few agencies online, are they all reliable as they claim? I mean without a known reference what's the best way to make sure that the agency provides someone I'd be comfortable with? Any interview hints?

The cost is indeed another consideration. How much does it usually cost?

Carolyn, I didn't see Wendy's contact. Do you mind giving it to me again?

Wendy's number is +6012 335 7539. Her phone may be off but do leave a message, usually if you don't book her as soon as you know you are pregnant, I think the chances may be low.

I can't remember the price but I think she charges less than singaporean confinement nannys and she is VERY good. It was the best experience I had with the pregnancy, birth and new baby. She is a great cook, good with other kids, does more than you pay her to adn smart, talks a bit much tho but you can tell her that you are tired or hv stuff to do. She does the night shift and will get your baby to sleep about 5 hours stretches by the time she leaves you and if you are foreign, I think she would also do the "wet" marketing, hunt down the "black" chicken etc etc.

She does not charge a booking fee, so book her first.

try not to get maids from Lucky Plaza or Far East Plaza, most of the maids there use their off days looking for 'better employers' and make up 'stories'. i was once a victim and their agency fees are sky high with no good after sales service.

might as well try those at Bukit Timah Shopping Centre. They are very equally good and prices more competitive since there are so many maid agencies in that building.

It's 2009, this freaks me out! What is the world producing today You have as much luck with a maid as you do with your local garage, plumber, contractor, and even husband. No experts just people some you can trust some you cannot, and you want to place your newborn baby with a stranger OMG! I have kids in their late 30's and i have a 9 year old, and i would never be so naive to leave my kids in the hands of any stranger, especially if they cannot communicate.

I'm male and have bottle fed my daughter since born, no one else outside of family members would be left alone with my child, no matter what age. My wife is not a typical mother and was probably just as naive as you, Asians are normally raised by family, to do well on education, not raising kids, this is left to family members mainly myself and help was their when needed. There is a great deal of difference between raising a new born child in all Countries, so you do need to monitor the progress, whoever you choose.

when its too late it's too late damage is done. If you need help in being a mother, then help is available, but trust me the quality varies a great deal. Depending which Country you are from, you should choose help, from your own people, for peace of mind.

I would choose a maid that is married, mid to late 30's not over 45, and watch her very carefully. Young maids do not have the motherhood experience and if they do, its because they like sex better than being a mother, and your husband maybe at risk!

I would think hard about it and try to manage on your own, the iniatial experiences are a part of motherhood, which come natural to most, have a friend to guide you, if you think you need it.

And if you think a nurse is better, more fool you, a nurse as a job to do, death means nothing, they are exposed all the injuries and death and most cope mentally with service, they are not all mothers for god sake.

Typical that many councillors in marriage have never been married, most pysychiatrists, had a problem and that's why they studied, doctors that want to be the next historic names in history and use people to experiment on and who cares if they got it wrong,.Oops sorry my first mistake

wake up to reality and take charge of your life most of the information you can learn online, free of charge, there is hell of a lot at stake here, we are talking about bonding and psychological errors, you may make, that you will live to regret. You want respect from your kids, you have to earn it, my wife realises that too late, that is the problem when you do not take charge of your child as a mother. No matter how much you love them, babies know, that they was passed to others for love, so be very very careful otherwise the child may just have you under control by the age of 3 or 4. All children are manipulative, it's a survival instinct!

Yikes, it sounds you have not had good experiences with domestic helpers - I am sorry to hear that.

On the flip side, our domestic helper is amazing - kind, loving and gentle. She's wonderful and my son loves her. A balance can be achieved as we are proof. Even though I do have a helper, I do most of the care-giving, but in a pinch I absolutely trust her. If I need to go the doctor's or if I want to go get coffee with a friend, she is there to help.

while I'm sure ksl has lots of good reasons for feeling as he does, a helper is not a bad option if you need help. It's better to get help if you need it than to try to cope on your own and fail.

ksl wrote: Young maids do not have the motherhood experience and if they do, its because they like sex better than being a mother, and your husband maybe at risk!

seriously?? that's a bit much. a lot of maids have kids young because that is the culture in their country, and because they aren't taught about birth control. it's not because they are sluts. and it takes two to party. the hubbie still has the ability to say no if he is loyal to his wife. it's not like he's a 'victim' of the maid's advances.