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Inconsolable after Summer Holidays

Posted: Thu, 15 Oct 2009 8:44 am
by isisclose
Our 4 yo is normally a bubbly girl and sleeps through the night. Since returning from a lovely summer holidays with her cousins, she has been waking up few times every night crying that she misses her nan and everyone back home. No amount of comfort, hugs and songs could calm her down. We call home daily for her to speak with family but it seem to get worse when we hang up the phone.

I wonder if anyone had the same experience? What can we do to help her? I'm feeling very helpless...

Posted: Thu, 15 Oct 2009 9:12 am
by merichan
Hi

Here what I do, is each time we are coming back from the summer holidays, is actually cutting the contact to a strict minimum for a while...

Not calling more than once a week and insisting a lot on the contacts here... the friends she can see... distracting my daughter ( she's now 5... and we've been going back most of the summer every summer since she's 2 and a half) with all the activities that she can have here and not back in Switzerland...

It helps her better than keeping closer contact as it reminds her how much she misses them.

Merichan

Posted: Thu, 15 Oct 2009 11:15 am
by em123
I totally understand on this one.
We've only just moved here and my nearly 4 year old is having a bit of trouble settling in and really misses her family and friends at home.
She screams when I try to get her to school in the morning, and has started waking up at night too. She keeps asking me when we can go home - it's so hard.
Guess the only thing that can help is time......for us settling in in the first place and for your daughter - settling in again......

Hope she soon returns to her bubbly self, I'm sure she will soon! Sorry I couldn't offer anymore constructive advice - need some myself!!!

Em

Posted: Sat, 17 Oct 2009 7:55 am
by Thaiclan
Webcams are great and you can download free software where you can record the conversation and video, so it might be nice to get nan,cousins, whoever to come online say their hello's, good mornings or night nights so your child can see their face and wave at them. If you record them you can play them even when they aren't really available.
My 5 year old (at the time) found it fascinating to go through the time differences such as "wow nanny would just be going to bed now, or Grandad would be having his breakfast but we are off to bed".
If they are in a playgroup maybe have a circle time where they can all talk about their families who live faraway - great way to touch on early geography too!
Most importantly listen to your childs fears. Maybe it isn't missing the family as much as say not liking school (4 is very early for school) or not connecting with friends, or even picking up on the energies of parents who are actually missing home too.
Good Luck!

Posted: Sat, 17 Oct 2009 8:52 am
by hbw65
try and get her back involved as much as possible into Singapore life. I would tend to agree that minimizing contact with home is a good idea. Make playdates for her, do fun famly trips like the zoo, Sentosa Island, a fun lunch with mommy etc...It's a transition stage and every child goes through it at every age, it just manifests itself differently. Is she is in pre-school?

Posted: Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:12 am
by maneo
Fun activities are a must, especially those that you didn't do or did only rarely.

Started my daughter doing horse-riding when we came (she loved horses). It changed her outlook on SG dramatically.
She also learned to ice skate here in SG (yeah, I know it sounds strange, but it was a great way to cool off).
Let your imagination loose.