Singapore Expats

Hi,

Thought I might start this so anyone can add in,then we can either avoid certain places or be prepared. Don't want to see another mother go through this awful experience.

Here is my bad experience which I had on Sat (8th May).

My husband and I took both boys ( 4 yrs and 9 Months) went to Royce Gym in the afternoon. Half way through my younger one demanded milk so as usual I found quiet corner (the reading cornor) as no one was using it and started feeding my bub, less than a minute a staff came over and told me I was not allowed to breastfeed my bub there and insisted me to go outside, so I asked her where she wanted me to go, she said just there, I wasn't sure where she was pointting so I followed her, (thought might be a bit more comfortable seat for me somewhere just outside).

Then she said just here, it's the same bench where everyone change their shoes next to the baby change table, only thing is there is a door between the bench. Then I spotted the couch further inside, I think it's the party area. So I walked towards the couch, just when I reached there, sat down, couple staffs yelled at me and said I wasn't allowed to go there and breastfeed my baby, I was very p****ssed off by then and ignored them. Again less than 5 mins the same staff came over and said the play session time was up and I had to get out this place immediately.

I was totally lost and could not control, I stopped feeding of course and asked the staff is this place for children or not she said yes then I asked is this company policy and written in the gym breastfeeding not allowed in this kid's gym, her answer was no, but some fathers don't like it (there were only two or three peopel there, none of them are singaporean). So I asked to talk to their manager. The manager wouldn't even come out to face me.
So ladies be prepared when you go there while you still need to breastfeed regularly.

Ridiculous.

That is apalling, at a children's play gym! I will not frequent it again based on your posting. I think you should get everyone you know to call the gym complaining about their conduct.

I wonder what would have happenned if you refused to move in the first place.

that is absolutely ridiculous!!! you should definitely find out who the owner is and write a letter. i've never had/nor heard of anyone having an issue with this in Singapore. in a children's play gym no less - that is CRAZY!

I will definitely write a letter to the owner of this place. Maybe organise a playdate with group of nursing moms and hungry baby there and unleash our boobs at the same time. Sure will be loads of fun.

I use this play gym a lot and as it's the only place like this in Singapore I'm not going to stop going. My boy loves it there!

However, it is poor that they do not have a place to breastfeed babies and I know that it is policy not to take 'food' into the gym, although I know a breast is a different context altogether. While I have no problem with people breastfeeding in front of me, I've experienced this allot here, there's a time and a place and the reading corner of a child play gym probably wasn't the right one and I know I'm probably going to get shot for saying it.

I'm not sure if you had asked the lady if they minded if you used the party area, they may said it was OK. There are people coming or going all the time where those benches are outside and I doubt if anyone would have noticed or cared that you were breastfeeding there as they'd be too busy getting their children in or out of the play gym.

Last time I remember this topic getting a lot of publicity was a few years ago when a breast-feeding mum (Singaporean if that makes any difference) was asked to leave the Esplanade when she was discreetly feeding her baby. Letters to the forum pages of the "newspaper which shall not be named" here resulted in a lot of discussion, and a "feed-in" by other b-f mums (there's strength in numbers) and the Mum concerned, a well-respected doctor, did the other b-f mums of Singapore a favour by making more places think about their approach to families, facilities and staff-training.

I think it is shocking that people will try and move breastfeeding mums away to little corners and back rooms (and even worse - toilets!). Most mums feed discreetly and many use a light shawl so that they have some privacy.

What you need to do is refuse to move and just sit there. They're not going to do anything, they can't physically move you, so just politely say 'thanks but I'm quite comfortable where I am' and watch them get flustered.

Although having said that, I hope it is a once in a lifetime experience and it won't happen to you again.

Thanks everyone for your reply.

Snowqueen, thanks for your comment, please note I certainly asked the stuff if I can go to the party area, but the answer from the stuff is NO. So that's why I ignored her and walked towards there as no one was using it. Then being yelled at again " NO BREASTFEEDING YOUR BABY THERE, YOU CAN'T GO THERE" If she said it was ok, I don't think I will make it a big deal. As for the reading conor please read what I posted, " there were only 3 or 4 kids in the gym". If any kids were using the reading area, sure I would choose other place.

Breastfeeding at the front next to the chang table with such an uncomfortable bench which can hardly feet half of the buttom???? Also worrying someone might hit baby's head accidentally What a great idea. Guess you can give a go then.

Hi thegoodwins,

I took the liberty of writing an email to this gym to let them know of my disappointment about how you were treated. FYI, today I got this response:

This is Annie , owner of the gym, l am out town so sorry for the late reply . First i want to apologize for your friend inconvenience!
I am taking this matter very seriously that i will make a very lovely breast feeding coner for our beautiful moms . I am really sorry about your friend unhappy moment in my gym . I will prepare 2 presents for Jenny lovely child and 2 free 1 hrs funplay coupons . will call her when its ready.

thank you for your feedback, you are absolutely right ! I should make a place for our moms ! so sorry about that ! I always want all mom and kids will have a happy funplay in my gym.

best regards
annie

****

I hope I didn't cause any embarassment to you by getting involved, but I thought the owner should know that you're not alone in your opinion of how you were treated.

All the best!

UGH! Why should there be a designated BF place? If a child needs to be nursed, the mother should be able to nurse where it's convenient for her and the child. Mothers should be supported if they choose to BF and not be harassed or made to feel like it's dirty. Because I hate to break to these people but BF is NATURAL.

I had read a blog and thought I would share this author's insight:

Covering up : I am so sick of the cover up argument/issue. The vast majority of those bitching about breastfeeding mothers covering up while they are nursing, are adults. Well here is a tip for you adults, FRIGGIN' TURN YOUR HEAD! Jesus, you would think that people are forcing you to breastfeed off a random mother in the mall. No, put on your big girl/big boy panties, turn your head and get over yourself. You are the same jerks who would be complaining about a screaming baby. Hypocrite!

Go Breastfeed in the Bathroom : I am not sure about most people out there, but I can tell you I have never sat down and had my lunch in the bathroom. Have you? Why would you insist someone else do something of that nature when you would not do it yourself?

That is so right on the money. If BF offends you, put a blanket over YOUR head.

Of course, there is another possibility.

Considering this is Asia, and their sensibilities are different than ours (witness hardcup or heavily padded bras - heaven forbid an erect nipple should poke through your blouse or T), it would behoove one to try to have some empathy for our hosts, or go home where you would feel more comfortable (by home - I mean via changi airport).

in8mom wrote:UGH! Why should there be a designated BF place? If a child needs to be nursed, the mother should be able to nurse where it's convenient for her and the child. Mothers should be supported if they choose to BF and not be harassed or made to feel like it's dirty. Because I hate to break to these people but BF is NATURAL.

Just a technical remark: I would be a bit careful to throw around the natural thing. In equatorial countries it is pretty natural to walk naked so you may ask yourself whether you feel that emancipated from your social preconditioning to allow the others to do it in front of you. No it is not that different. It is just a different perspective.
Personally I have completely nothing against BF in public places and I roughly share the opinion you quoted from a blog but I think SMS also has a valid point.

Let's face it though, there are not that many places in Singapore where you cannot breastfeed comfortably in public.

There is a coffee shop and ice cream cafe outside Royce's so it's not like you are short of places to go and feed. If you'd gone to the coffee shop, as the seating is behind the serving station I doubt they would have even noticed if you'd found yourself a nice comfy seat and had nice relaxing stress free feed with your baby rather than go through the stress of being asked to move from the reading corner of the play gym.

At 9 months old, would the baby been happy with a biscuit or piece of fruit or did he specifically point to your boobs insisting he had your milk? (story of a shirt lifting toddler my friend told about me springs to mind). At 9 months old, I knew what times my son (now 15 months) would be hungry so always carried around a snack if I got caught short in between meal times.

Whilst I sympathise with your situation I also feel that some of this stress can be avoided with a little forward planning. I know that being a child's play gym Royces should be a little more organised but the space is a little limited as it is. If I had the choice of more room for the kiddies to play or a breastfeeding room/corner, I know what I would choose.

in8mom wrote: Because I hate to break to these people but BF is NATURAL.

So is vomiting, ejaculation, chewing with your mouth open, popping zits, draining abscesses, picking your teeth and diarrhea. But guess what? I don't want to see people engaging in these activities, not matter how natural they are. The fact that a behavior is natural, is not a reason to engage in any activity in public. It's about social mores. Somethings, according to some cultures, are best done in private. Remember that we are visitors here.