Singapore Expats

Need help. Please read

Been working for 5 yrs and decided to change a job. Just went for the SIA interview and got pass everything including management round. Now only left with medical to clear.

Now the problem is that my stable 4 yrs gf gets very upset that i have to start flying and work with so many girls.

She told me that its either her or the job. Also she is telling me stuff which i totally agree that the career path of a CC is really short and i may need to start from the bottom when i get back to the real world. She also told me that since I'm still young why not get a head start and work to get more experience so that you can get a good stable income in other sectors.

We are already planning for marriage so our r/s have been very stable and we already know what we want.

What should i do??? Cabin Crew or Her and a new job?

Please help. I would love to hear more from steward/stewardess? Have you guys face the same problem before? We are both in our mid 20

the fact that you are even weighing your gf against this job, shows how important your 4 year r/s is to you. and what more you guys already have marriage on your cards.

anyway, if i were in your shoes, my answer would be hell no. its definitely not worth giving your partner up for this job. in this line, you will surely experience times when you need someone who understands you, to be there for you.

anyway, didnt your gf know about you going for the interview in the first place?

She is very important in my life. We have been thru alot. I told her before I go and she is like. Ok, just go try

Thanks for the advice. Really appreiciate Ur comment.

The reason I'm thinking of taking up this job is that I just wanna experience alot of things that I may not be able to experience inthe future. Going to places that I may not go.

She is from a wealthy and educated family. What her family tell me is that is not take up the job. But I got tonnes of friends telling me that if it was them they would take up the job. I'm actually bonded till may so i still have a little time to decide. Now I can't sleep and I'm just very bothered with the fact that I may regret in the future.

I'm just afraid that everytime we quarrel I'll just think of taking up this job. I'm just so so troubled and really want to get over this man. I cannot take this stress anymore. Any ladies Here have bf working as a cabin crew?

mc-hotdog,
First of all if she is worried about the fact that you will work with so many girls then how will she cope when you are married? You cannot live your life without encountering women can you? The fact is she is going to have to trust you and you her and one can only hope that you respect each other in that regard - what love is all about - trust and respect. I read some worrying stories about Singaporean and other men and indeed have witnessed some unsavory events.

Neither your girl-friend or her family have any right to tell you what job you should or should not take, that is for you nobody else. Do you think they would object if you were taking a well respected and financially beneficial position of a pilot? I think not, yet you would be away from home a lot and in the company of a great many girls!

However, the career path of male cabin crew is not as short as for females. Although in the end the decision must be yours and yours alone. The trouble with asking others on forums is they do not know you and you may end up blaming them for what turns out to be a mistake later.

I have seen similar situations time and time again; male colleagues would tell me of wives who complained about the hours they worked over-looking the fact their husbands were in well-paid jobs they couldn't get elsewhere. No surprise then I never married. Take your time and don't do anything rash.

I am not a CC crew but I travelled 8 months in a year for the past 25 years until I settled down completely. I have grown kids and stayed true to my wife all this while.
Here is my half cents worth

This is a two part problem and solution
1. Problem ; gf does not want you to fly.
Solution is to get married asap and then go flying. There will be jealousy as all woman would but she knows you are hers to keep . Pre-nuptial agreement will be one solution. If you think you can be straight and honest while on the job, then showed with earnest sincerity to her. For herself, she should understand and try to be fair. If her man cannot be happy in life , how can her man make her happy in the bedroom

2. Problem ; Your job
It is important that you must be happy with what you do. Pay is not a factor. You do it because you love it . Search deep inside your heart and ask yourself. If you are happy and you know for yourself that you are not going to be truant to your gf/wife then she should understand

Even if she comes from a wealthy family, the fact remains that they are the one that is well off NOT YOU. As a man you do not want to be a pussy for life and always waiting for hand out. That is worse then being a man.

Like the words of Russell Peters "Be A MAN !!"

They are probably worth each other.

Ur gf shouldn't have posed that kind of dilemma on you; her or your job. She should be understanding and compromising at least in your career options. She may be jealous that you'll be surrounded by beautiful ladies while being a crew, hence maybe u shld assure her that no one would be as beautiful as her.

Maybe to ensure everything is well, get engaged and promised her that no matter what you won't cheat on her. Because, dude, at the end of the day, it's your choice. Given the flying career is not a passport to extra marital affair and if that happens, there's only u to blame.

You can have the best of both worlds. Just deal the cards carefully..don't end up being the joker...

cheers!!

what is your dream? If you go for your GF, would you regret not being a CC one day?
If you go for CC, why should your GF be jealous? After all you both have been together for FIVE YEARS! Correct me, isn't a relationship always based on trust?

Thanks for all the advices. Really need time to think through stuff. Any ex stewards? can give advice? Do you feel like its a waste of time being a cabin crew. read it some where here saying how bad it is to find a job next time when you decide to stop flying.

To be honest I'm very very tempted to join SIA but i do feel that i need to have a career instead of another fun job.

I need more advice from ppl whom have gone thru this before. Im in my mid 20s so i feel a little lost now.

From what i understand if i take up this job me and her will be totally over even if we still love each other so much.

mc-hotdog wrote: Do you feel like its a waste of time being a cabin crew. read it some where here saying how bad it is to find a job next time when you decide to stop flying.

No it isn't a waste of time; like any other job even the menial it enhances your experiences of life (you would have many regarding people, culture and language as well as travel which many don't get the opportunity of). Being amongst people gives you a massive advantage if you wish to continue in say the tourist industry when you eventually decide to settle down in Singapore.

Perhaps the best thing to do as simple as it sounds is; sit down with a notebook and write two columns: one headed for and the other against then make lists under each and see which makes you think more.

For example: you will have a job and a wage and wil get to see something of the world.

On the other hand you don't really see the countries you visit; cabin crew coming to London get to spend their time on Oxford Street and the other odd tourist spot, you simply won't have time to go anywhere else plus the fact there are places you really wouldn't want to.

Not easy to make decsions I know but just a simply metholodgy like that above helps, if you have a better idea then use it. Good luck and take your time.

Agree with Plavt

But how do you equate or compare or quantify money with something so dear to your heart.

From my perspective, you cannot compare apple to apple between career and relationship.
Compromise and tolerance is the key.

If you go for career, you will be seen as greedy, heartless, uncaring

If you go for relationship, you will be seen as a pussy, under the thumb and there goes your chance to further your career.

Either way you choose, you may regret the rest of your life

It is a tough call but at the end of the day, go with your gut feeling.
Once you have made that choice, thick and thin stick to it like glue
There is a saying in the army " The Worse Leader is not a Leader that made wrong decision but A Leader that does not make any decision at all!!
IMHO, if you are not happy with what you do, you will never be happy with the rest of your adult life

Go with the job. You can always find another wife.

If you don't take the job, you will regret it until you die, especially as there is a shelf life to get into the industry (after getting in that shelf life is extended by experience). However, you gf has already shown her colours and will be that way as long as you two are together. It will be her that wears the pants in the family, not you. If you do what you desire on the career side, she has two choices. Leave or Stand by her Man. Your choice.

I know what I would do. I did it! And I ended up in a divorce around a year later. But I've remarried and been happily so for the last 27 years. No regrets.

Let's now leave my gf aside. How about taking up a new job that has a brighter future but earning much lesser than a cc? But maybe earn as much as a cabin crew or even more in the future?

I still do think that being a cc does not have a very long career. Max is around ten years or so. My plan is actually start a small business in future but am I taking a big risk?

Im planning to study my degree too but if I fly I may need to give it up. I still need more advice.

The best advice anybody can give you is for you to do what you want to do in your heart. Nobody is saying CC is a long term future or the most money. You are definitely a local. There is more to life that money and a name card. You can be the wealthiest man in the world and be unhappy and unfulfilled in life. I was a tax accountant for the largest tax preparation firm in the world and had control of 23 offices in greater Washington DC by the time I was 27. But on my 29 birthday, I realized something was missing. Before the end of the day, I took off my 3 piece suit, turned in my letter of resignation and embarked on a 180 degree switch to do what "I" wanted to do. I took up a trade and gave up a profession (ksl, I hope you hear this!). for the better part of the next two decades I got paid to do what I used to pay people to let me do. I became a commercial deep sea diver in the oil fields around the world. Today, I'v come full circle @ 63 but I don't regret a minute of those two decades in the apex of my life. They were probably the best time of my life. Did I get rich? No. Would I do it again? In a MINUTE!

Remember, you only go around ONCE in this life. If you don't life your life for yourself, why bother at all? Is there room for a girl friend? Wife? Family? Kids? Sure. If that's what you want. At least if you opt to do what makes you feel good about yourself, you can more easily make someone else happy as well. AND that person will be accepting you for who & what you are. Singaporeans have a long way to go I guess, as they are still only chasing the dollar which is a fruitless chase. One crash and it can all be wiped out. But doing what gives you satisfaction will stay with you forever.

Just my two bob worth.

mc-hotdog wrote:My plan is actually start a small business in future but am I taking a big risk?

Im planning to study my degree too but if I fly I may need to give it up. I still need more advice.

Starting any business involves a risk of some degree; no doubt you know about the current state of the world's economy from which few people are immune. In my view a degree is imperative or at least highly beneficial as you need to understand, people, politics, economics, marketing amongst other things unless of course you intend to sell hot dogs at the side of the road.

There is no need to give up your degree if you become cabin crew. You may not have heard of it but Britain has the Open University where you study in your own time mostly remotely (this is government accredited):

http://www.open.ac.uk/. Although for non EU citizens it is very expensive and requires a lot of deteremination on the part of the individual. Just a few things to think about, hope you find it useful.