Singapore Expats

What will i do now? I married but now my mind is not with him but someone else. How to stop this feeling and this though? He is nothing special and we are nothing to each other.

Vivianvu wrote:What will i do now? I married but now my mind is not with him but someone else. How to stop this feeling and this though? He is nothing special and we are nothing to each other.

1. Then why did you marry him in the first place?

2. Solution: Do it like how our ancestors survive arranged marriages. Let love develop over time. The only person who is stopping the process is you and you yourself (unless he is also another guilty party for stopping this to happen).

Hi Lynx, good point there! I wonder how the 'old' generations manage to marry someone they 'did not' know and the marriage actually works!! Salute them..

anyway, i am not married so i may not understand ur situation.. and it is normal to have this feeling that the grass is greener on the other side..but hey, nobody is perfect, and rather than seeing the attributes your partner does not have, do focus on his good sides and make this work..

I had loved my husband few years back but after married for awhile i wonder where is my feelings? I met a new person and i have a new feeling even i try not to do. I hate this feeling, really want to stop but heart beat is cant control.
I did not intend to have an affair and i am not yet. Just want to know anyone who are married, have ever they are in my situation now and how to get out. My husband is wonderful man but how to fall in love with him again?

Boredom, or out of love? No wonder some of my friends choose not to marry

Vivianvu wrote:I had loved my husband few years back but after married for awhile i wonder where is my feelings? I met a new person and i have a new feeling even i try not to do. I hate this feeling, really want to stop but heart beat is cant control.
I did not intend to have an affair and i am not yet. Just want to know anyone who are married, have ever they are in my situation now and how to get out. My husband is wonderful man but how to fall in love with him again?

Let's put it this way.

You CHOSE your husband before you married him. You yourself said that he is a wonderful man (although you also said this contradictory line):

He is nothing special and we are nothing to each other

And you CHOSE to like this new chap that caught your fancy. You CHOSE to acknowledge that you want to do something about it.

To be honest, if you're really serious about this issue, you wouldn't have come here for advice from random strangers like me and the others. You're looking for someone here who will tell you what you like to hear ("Go and divorce your husband! Or have affair with this new soul mate. Feelings are more important! It is about your dreams"). I hope I'm wrong but I've met enough people like you and also enough men in same shoes as your husband.

Prove me wrong, and CHOOSE to see your husband in renewed light and renewed love. And lose contact with that new chap. It is hard to rejuvenate the love you once had for your husband if that 'distraction' keeps popping up in your life.

Do it before you are found out.

Honour your marriage!

^^^^

+1

Well said.

You only get one ride around in life. Choose how you want to spend it; with honor or in hedonism.

+2