Singapore Expats

I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti=gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a threatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

Phew! That's a whole lotta puns there.

I like this one (at the end of the clip):

Infamy, infamy...

Mi Amigo wrote:Phew! That's a whole lotta puns there.

I like this one (at the end of the clip):

Infamy, infamy...

This is strange... I got an email today from a friend with exactly this on it.

Anyway, I'm going to Thailand for a holiday. Need a break. Phuckit.

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.

The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.

He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turnover and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.

The male was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the female, "Lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."

At this point, the male whale realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.

"What's the matter darling?"

"Look love," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen !!!".

sundaymorningstaple wrote: "Look love," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen !!!".

OK. Can a more senior moderator (if there is one) please ban this guy!

(but the joke was very funny I have to admit)

Why? Nothing wrong with it is there? Weren't any misspellings that I was aware of.

Lol!

You're firing on all cylinders tonight


p.s. A mate of mine in Liverpool is going to love those puns and the whale joke too...

Sign outside a male OB-Gyne's clinic : 'Doctor is in... at your cervix!'