Feeling lost in your new home..Unhappy expats is back!

[bebe le chotchkey]

Well, it's kind of crappy today, husband left for China and I am here alone with my kids...no friends, etc...that's sucky!
Also, I actually found the original thread and read it...It really made sense, cracked me up, and made me wish I could actually meet some of you...the not-wacked-out people anyway...let me know of any get togethers...

[bebe le chotchkey]

Just an update...the restaurant La Forketta is an evil-doer, I have been there 3x, and that counts as 3x too many...1st time - terrible service, bad, over-priced entree', but really good salad - the ONLY good thing about this place. 2nd time my husband and I came with kids and they wouldn't allow us to sit indoors (...does "get to the back of the bus" ring any bells...kid haters...and my children are well behaved because I have taught them manners and we dine out alot) and it was thundering and lightening...ugh! This next time it was my little (sleeping) son and myself, thats it...well, they allowed us to come into the restaurant, but because my son was asleep and lounging sleepily in the chair they came up and requested that he sit up straight or go sit outside...this is by no means a "nice" restaurant...it's just like every other cafe in the Dempsey area...anyway, I was just like "ok, I'll try to move him without waking him"...then comes a major pet peeve that I learned the first time we went...they bring a bread basket to the table...but guess what it's not complimentary bread, they charge for it...however they are so sneaky about that they just set it down and walk off...never do they as if you even want it...ugh! Pi$$e$ me off so bad! Anyway, I am just sick of the rude, bad service at this point that they can stick the salad up their "fill in the blank" ...so I just get up and leave...the thing is, these rude idiots could probably care less...if I was the owner of this restaurant I would never let a customer receive (the lack of) service that I did, not to mention the rudeness...Anyway, it's so bad that I officially can't stand these people!
On a good note, Jones the Grocer just a couple of doors down is great, as is Margarita's right across from Jones. I like the Dempsey area but the earth can swallow La Forketta *aka - The Restaurant of Devils. Sorry had to vent that...and I drove there...first time driving any "distance"...Newton area to Dempsey...Yea! for me! I lived...I should make a t-shirt for myself!

[notwavingdrowning]

Just posting a little something to keep the thread alive.

This is a great source of information.

Good one- thanks for doing that, it seemed my original thread was a constant number one for weeks...Which I requested to be locked as it was veeering so far from its original intent...Then this one quickly died...I guess we just needed some fresh expat blood to hit our shores...

Bebe...You vent as much as you want- if ANYONE says anything to you, they will have me to deal with :} Venting really helps and dont feel silly the next day- Many new expats know exactly what you are talking about..

And reminder to helpful people- No suggestions of Volunteer work, or "meet me at Friday night drinking club" we all know this stuff..this place is purely a safe place for people to share their feelings about being new to these shores and away from loved ones...

If you read my original posts you will see I struggled enormously during my first couple of months here..like, keep me away from the balcony suffering...I hated it...I just felt...well you know how I felt...

I just passed the 3 month mark- and incredibly enough, I am now happy to be here..Finding friends helped, doing excersize, trying not to eat too much chocolate...and just having a routine...but in my darkest hours, Singapore Expats and my original thread kept my going and really helped heal me...

It takes time and effort to turn aquaintances into friends, (because friends will soothe your passage here) which is often the last thing you feel like doing when you feel the way I did...

A big thing for me was visiting another Asian country because- within a day I was saying- Get me outa here...Singapore is SOOO much better..then it really dawned on me that I have fully crossed the line- As Sundaymorning staple calls it...

Feel safe here..keep venting, and new friendships will organically form...I promise..I have met perhaps 2 dozen people thru "looking for NEW girlfriends" a coffee meet every Friday at 11am...and also thru my original thread...Out of every dozen people you meet you will make at least 1-2 lasting friends..

Its a numbers game, its an effort, but well worth it...

In the meantime- vent here...it will make you feel better, and others will feel less alone knowing they are not the only ones annoyed with the, "heres a bread basket" and finding $8.00 added to your bill at the end...My particluar favourite is eating at a restaurant (not hawker centre) asking for a napkin, and being given a sealed pack of a single wet fabric tissue..saying thankyou- and then finding that a dollar per wet one was added to the bill....

[bebe le chotchkey]

I deleted this post so ignorant people won't misunderstand my intentions and make assumptions about my opinions.

[Barnsley]

Isnt the rain crazy!!!

A storm a day as well.

[Currymeister]

.. sorry for staying off topic, but are the current storms and consistent daily rain normal for this time of year? Got my mum coming out in a couple of weeks, she's a sun worshipper and likes to swim, I hope the weather will improve by then.

[notwavingdrowning]

bebe le chotchkey

I have pm'd you a message with my number so we can have a chat...

It has not left my sent box yet- so hope it gets thru to you..

As great as this forum is- sometimes it helps to talk to a real live person!

One who went thru exactly what you are going thru now- and considering the ccard issue you must be feeling like this right now

[Currymeister]

Cheer up bebe! The cc is a nightmare and an inconvenience, but at least moron driver won't be able to spend on it. So no real loss. Things do get better, it has only been 4 weeks. Once you've met some real people and made friends and are sorted with a support network, you'll be loving this place. Def take NWD up on her offer, and come to the next Pees meeting.
Keep smiling!

[notwavingdrowning]

For the referral CurryMeister..and Bebe, he has actually met me and mine and we have socialised together with his divine wife so the referral is sound...He is a great guy...

I hope your week is starting off ok...

This place is a bit like A.A...One day at a time...Or maybe 1 Hour at a time...

Mind you sometimes in the place, espcially the early days, a large drink is what gets you thru

[bebe le chotchkey]

NWD and Curry,

Thanks so much both of you! Yeah, I thought about replying with "Hi, I'm Bebe and I'm an alcoholic expat". It's actually like a cross between group therapy and online dating...hopefully without the creeps (don't know from personal experience but know others that have shared the drama). Anyway, thanks for the laugh!
NWD when I have some time I'll contact you, hopefully when the kids aren't juggling fire batons...perhaps later or tomorrow at the latest...just wanted to say thanks. When is everyone meeting up?

My house, where the wine flows like...well, wine.

[new_in_town77]

the people are so rude and seem under-handed (I have real experiences to back this up not just empty accusation)...it's almost like being in Mexico because of the dishonesty and fraud

I felt kind of sorry for what happened to you until that quote - if you believe Mexicans in general are liars and thieves, and the same for Singaporeans - maybe really rather stay home in your safe protected world...

there is the same amount of dishonesty and fraud in the US - and many other places - but a country generally gives you the experiences you expect

[bebe le chotchkey]

Aren't you the smart, cultured one...I can understand how you could draw the conclusion that I am anti-Mexican / Singaporean, but you couldn't be further from the truth...you have no background info about what I have experienced in my travels so before you make assumptions about what I think about other people or nationalities perhaps you should consider what you don't know about me. I am from a multi-cultural family from many places in the world, Mexico, South America, Asia, and yes, the US...I am fully aware of wrong-doing, crime, and fraud in ALL parts of the world - INCLUDING the US...you obviously don't get the focus of this post...I am speaking my mind, trying to adjust to living here, and dealing with life as it comes...so step off. I am not always P.C. in the way I type...You don't know me, if you did you would know where I was coming from...UGH! Ignorant! I bet you're the type that thinks you know everything huh? By the way, I'm not looking for your sympathy, my purpose is to connect with people who are experiencing the same issues pertaining to adjusting to life in a new place...but, I want to connect with smart, open-minded, cultured, kind, understanding people...not someone like you! Oh, and I used that example because I've had my identity and credit cards stolen more times in Mexico than any other place on earth...If you want to sling mud you need to know what you're talking about first.

[notwavingdrowning]

Way to go Chotchkey

This thread is about letting it out- whatever your emotion is about being new or old on these foreign shores...

As for generalisations about countries, I find it funny when people make jokes - insulting or otherwise about my fellow countrymen- because, whilst I know I am not like that- its often the truth...

Currymeister- I know you are busy with your new addition, but we really must have another meeting soon

Ps..Bebe, I was shocked at the calibre of people at the last gathering (high) and I made some friends I still see today from it..

Also Bebe don't forget "Looking for NEW girlfriends thread" they are a great bunch of women 20's-late 30's..from all over and it has been faithfully running weekly since I arrived 3 months ago- I went to the first meeting...

It was a thread started by a fantastic American woman in her early 30's..Many real friendships have been made from that Friday coffee group...

[Currymeister]

Currymeister- I know you are busy with your new addition, but we really must have another meeting soon

You're right it was about time, so I posted suggestions in the Peas thread.

here's the link, fill your socks .....

http://singaporeexpats.com/forum/ftopic51616-15.html

[Teema]

... than those that are essentially mercenaries being bought and brought over with housing and expat packages....
However, for those that must suffer being dragged along, ...

Well I'm sure my wife will love being called a mercenary, and I'm not suffering for being "dragged along"...

P & C

Hah!

So I'm not the only husband being "dragged along" here then. Woohoowhippidoo!