Jokes and some more.....

[batliwala]

All men have one

All Men have One...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All Men have One...
I have one !!!
Your husband will have one !!!
Your mother uses your father's one !!!

And your auntie uses your uncle's one !!!
A married lady would acquire one !!!
But a divorced lady would lose her one !!!

A Pope doesn't use his one !!!
Lee Con You (LKY) has a short-short one !!!
Mao Ze Dong had a hairy one !!!

Lord Krishna had a long-long one !!!
Arnold Schwarzenneger has a longer one !!!
Michael J. Fox has a shorter one !!!
Madonna doesn't have one !!!

The Chinese usually have short ones !!!
While the Pakistanis usually have long ones !!!
After your marriage your husband will give you his one !!!



Longer or shorter you have to take his one !!!

Are you afraid of taking a L O N G one !?!?!?


Do you want a SHORT one !?!?!?!


How long do you want !?!?!?!


Which one is your preferred one?
Long one or short one


(see below for answer)


What you are thinking of ?

Are you sure ?


Its your Surname ..,

What where u thinking of ???
U Dirty Mind !!

[batliwala]

Interesting e-mail


Everybody talks about Email

Everybody receives email

Everybody sends email

Everybody changes email

But to tell you the truth, Nobody ever met email.

Now with complete exclusivity

I present to you.... Email !
.

Scroll down

[batliwala]

i saw few images of our laloo ji doing similar stuff...here are a few more funny ones..



http://img123.imageshack.us/content.php ... oo21hg.jpg

http://img123.imageshack.us/content.php ... oo37tv.jpg

http://img123.imageshack.us/my.php?image=laloo41hu.jpg

http://img123.imageshack.us/my.php?image=laloo57xt.jpg[/

[batliwala]

PAKISTANI MATH QUESTION PAPER
i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot.
ii) Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qaeda group.
iii) AK 47's and Grenades are not allowed in the exam hall. Students may keep their daggers, revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defence.
--------------------------------------------------------
Math Exam Time : 3 hours
Maximum Marks : 100

All questions are compulsory.
1) Abdul was sent to jail for murder. He has 7 wives in his house. Abdul distributed money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul's oldest wife needs at least 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve.
2) Karim is a drug seller. Prices per gram of marijuana, hasis, haroine and LHD are 50, 60, 70, 80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buy more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim, a buyer gets Rupaye 7 discount per gram, find out the grams of LHD he bought.
3) Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time. Find the percentage deformation of the ball due to tampering in a one day series match against India in which Imran bowled 9.4 overs.
4) Mohammed has a Company named Al Allah Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited. He has to threat 10 people per day over Telephone. 40% of the people he threats are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are businessman in Delhi, 20% are cricket players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepers in Calcutta . If ISD charges are Rupaye 15, 25, 40, 50 per minute from Mohammed's city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi, Calcutta and Madras
respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month, find out the number of cinema stars in Mumbai, threatened in that particular month.
5) A terrorist group has to provide one Ak 47, one Ak 49, one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Rugroots after training. One Ak 47 costs 100$; one Ak 49 costs 150 $, a Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 50 $, a grenade is for 3 $ per piece, a pack of RDX Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $. The terrorist group admits 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are lost or shunted out while training.
Find the amt. of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt. has to provide each year to run such a group.
6) If stability of a democratic Govt. in Pakistan is given by the following equation X exp3 + X exp2 -16 =i ; Find out X.
7) Probability of a Pakistani Prime Minister to be shot is 78 %. Probability of a Military General to be shot is 42%. Find the joint probability of a Prime Minister to be shot who is also a Military General.
8) Find out geometrically the area of Paktunistaan using PI Theorem ! with Osama BIn Ladens Correction (That is taking the value of PI = 786, instead of 3.14.....), if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon.
9) A 'GHAURI' controlled missile tries to fly from Drass to Kargil which is not too far from Drass(say 100 miles) and is exactly to the East of Drass . The wind is blowing from the South and the speed of the wind is exactly equal to the speed of the missile. The controller decides to steer straight to Kargil all the time during the flight. Will the missile ever reach Kargil? What if the speed of the wind is k times the speed of the missile, where k is a positive number (can be greater or less than 1)? Try to sketch the trajectory of the missile (with respect to the ground, of course) in each of the three cases: k=1, k>1 and k<1.
10) Briefly discuss the Unsolved problem of "Bisection of a Triangle" with a Compass and an unmarked ruler if the triangle is named as KASHMIR.

[batliwala]

http://img244.echo.cx/img244/8056/laloo5zr.jpg
Enjoy.....

[batliwala]

Moral of the story -- Heheh damn funny

#1. One Stone - This was his Indian name given to him because he had
only one testicle. One stone would visit the local bar every evening
for a few drinks where ladies who knew him addressed him as One Stone
when they saw him. After years and years of this torment One Stone
cracked and said, "If anyone calls me One Stone again I will take them
upstairs and screw them till they die." The word got around and nobody
called him that any more.

Then one day a young girl named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good
morning, One Stone."

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her to the room upstairs the bar,
and there he made love to her all day, he made love to her all night,
he made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from
exhaustion.

The word got around that One Stone meant business. Years went by until
a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after many years
away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she
saw One Stone and hugged him and said, "Good to see you, One Stone."

One Stone grabbed her and took her upstairs where he made love to her
all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next
day, and made love to her all the next night, but One Stone died of
exhaustion instead.

The moral of the story? You can't kill two Birds with One Stone.

-----------------------------

#2. On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to
play together. One day, the two were playing when the horse fell into
a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the
farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he
searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone
to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the
farmer's new Z-3 series BMW. Finding the keys inside, the chicken sped
off with a length of rope, hoping he still had time to save his
friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the
chicken arrive in the shiny BMW, and he managed to get a hold of the
loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to
the rear bumper of the farmer's car, the chicken then drove slowly
forward and, with the aid of the powerful car, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken drove the BMW back to the farmhouse, and
The farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between
the two animals was cemented: best buddies, best pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too,
began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse
thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking
underneath, he told the chicken to grab his "thing" and he would then
lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse
pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? When you're hung like a horse, you don't need
a BMW to pick up chicks

[kingajit]

Hi Maddy,
Thanks a ton for starting this thread! , U just read my mind! Once the subforum was created there had to be a place where we could de-stress ourselves and share enjoyable stuff with others.......i.e. of course without hurting any one lah!
I hope everyone takes stuff on this thread with the right spirit & at their own descretion......and yak yak yak yak yak
I have a request, Could u name the thread as BATLI,Jokes and somemore.......
We have to appreciate the fact, that would it not have been for Batli, we would have never ever come close to a laughing riot, that we are experiencing now!

Cheers!
KingAjit
Hastein Raho!!!

[batliwala]

Hi Maddy,
Thanks a ton for starting this thread! , U just read my mind! Once the subforum was created there had to be a place where we could de-stress ourselves and share enjoyable stuff with others.......i.e. of course without hurting any one lah!
I hope everyone takes stuff on this thread with the right spirit & at their own descretion......and yak yak yak yak yak
I have a request, Could u name the thread as BATLI,Jokes and somemore.......
We have to appreciate the fact, that would it not have been for Batli, we would have never ever come close to a laughing riot, that we are experiencing now!

Cheers!
KingAjit
Hastein Raho!!!

KingAjit thanks for the suggestion. Dude, I did not think you were really serious when you mentioned it yesterday. It sounds nice as it is named now , and is not necessary to be renamed as Batli Jokes & summore.

LMAO@Batli

[batliwala]

]









Beauty Pagents from Pakistan
Monalisa Indian Version
A letter from Saudi Arabia (Nawaz Shariff)

[batliwala]

50 rupees only

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the
Rs.50.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, INDIA,they decided to forward it to the President of the India as a joke.

The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20. The President thought this would appear to be a lot
of money (Rs.50) to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.

The little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which read:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes .. "

[batliwala]

Gandhi Kee Dhoti

There was just one cinema Theatre in the Village. The village people, though backward were very patriotic. In fact as a Cinema screen the owner of the theatre had installed a khaadi dhoti. The villagers were very happy with the idea of a Khaadi Dhoti screen. They decided to dedicate the theatre to Mahatma Gandhiji, and Named the theatre:
GANDHI KEE DHOTI
Some of the Up coming attractions at GANDHI KEE DHOTI as advertised in the
Local Newspaper were:

Gandhi kee Dhoti mein KACHHE DHAGE
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein HAL-CHAL
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Daraar
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Chuppa Rustom
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Baazigar
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Garam Hawaa
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Hero No. 1
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Sabse Bada Khilaadi
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Kuch Kuch hota hai
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Raju Ban Gaya Gentlemen
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Josh
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Joru ka Ghulam
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Mere Do Anmol Ratan
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Judwaa
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Refugee
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Tera Jadoo Chal Gaaya
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Jungle
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Hera Pheri
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Ajnabee
Gandhi kee dhoti mein Kal Hou Na Hou
Gandhi kee dhoti main Qayyamat
Gandhi kee dhoti main Out Of Control
Gandhi kee dhoti main Janasheen
Gandhi kee dhoti main Baghban
Gandhi kee dhoti main Jani Dushman
Gandhi kee dhoti main Koi Mil Gaya
Gandhi kee dhoti main Hero No. 1



Some more added for more fun..

Gandhi kee Dhoti mein sholay
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein silsilay
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein China Gate

Gandhi kee Dhoti mein NO ENTRY.........lolz
gandhi key dhoti mein aawaara paagal deewaana
Gandhi ke dhoti mein Julie
Gandhi ke dhoti mein Barsat Ki Ek Raat
Gandhi ke dhoti mein Judai
gandhi ke dhoti mein Sailab

Gandhi key dhoti main dhoom
gandhi key dhoti main Gandhi
gandhi ki dhoti mein garam masala

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Maine Gandhi Ko Nahi Mara

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Bis Sal Baad

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Mera Des Mera Watan

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Pardes

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Andha Kanoon

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Kante

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Jo jita wohi Sikander

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein .....

gandhi ki dhoti mein 2 ankhein 12 haath
gandhi ki dhoti mein ek ajnabi
gandhi ki dhoti mein bewafa
gandhi ki dhoti mein jung
gandhi ki dhoti mein band darwaja

gandhi ki dhoti mein aparhan
gandhi ki dhoti mein neil n nikki
gandhi ki dhoti mein bhoot
gandhi ki dhoti mein kya kehana
gandhi ki dhoti mein salaam namaste
gandhi ki dhoti mein lakshya
gandhi ki dhoti mein "main hoon na".....................

Gandhi ki dhoti mein the burning train.
Gandhi ki dhoti mein Home Delivery.
Gandhi ki dhoti mein Hum Tum aur Woh

Gandhi ki dhoti mein Chhota Chetan
Gandhi ki dhoti mein Katilon ke katil
Gandhi ki dhoti mein Khooni darindaa..

Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein King Kong
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Harry Potter and the goblet of fire
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Harry Potter and the prisoner of azkaban
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Chamber of secrets(Rahasyamay Tehkana)
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Terminator
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Mahasangram(Matrix Revoutious)
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Fast and Furious
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein XXX
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Batman Begins
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Hellboy
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Gangajal
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Jaane Bhi Do Yaroon
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Yadoon Ki Baraat
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Fire
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Water
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Earth
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Tridev
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Swades
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein DEvdas
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Black
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Sixth Sense
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Unbreakable
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Signs
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein The Village
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Balle Balle Amritsar to LA
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Frankinstein
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Good Will Hunting
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein The Last Samurai
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein AI
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Minority Report
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Passion Of THe Christ
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Fight Club
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein The Interpreter
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Jackass The Movie
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Shaun Of The Dead
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Darna Mana Hai
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Dil Chahta Hai
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Company
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Sarkar
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Koi Mil Gaya
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Apre Vous (After You)
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Mujhse Shaadi Karogi
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Mr. Ya Mrs
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Musafir
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein The Good The Bad The Ugly
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Pulp Fiction
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Basic Instict
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Monsters Inc
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein The One
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Romeo Must Die
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Finding Nemo
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Meet Joe BLack
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Swordfish
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Dazed And Confused
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Godfather
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Rambo
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Starwars
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Home Alone
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Bullet Proof MOnk
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Raging Bull
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Crouching Tiger And HIdden Dragon
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Aakhen
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein DEWAAR


Now starting with the shit serials that come in indian televisions


Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Hum Paanch
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Kasauti Zindagiki
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Naach Baliye
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Kaun Banega Crorepati (Dwitiya)
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Jassi Jaisi Koyi Nahin
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Milee
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Deal Ya No Deal
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Supersale
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Kaboom
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein India Calling
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Indian Idol
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Dekh Bhai DEkh
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Junoon
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Shanti (Ek Aurat Ki Sangharsh Ki Kahaani)
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Tu Tu Mein Mein
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Chappar Phaadke
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Bournvita Quiz Contest
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Mahabharat
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Ramayan
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Discovery Of India
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein KKusum
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Poll Kholl
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Aap Ki Adalat
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Yatra
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein LOC
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Baa Bahoo Aur Bebi
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Randevous with Simi Garewal
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Coffee with Karan
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Movers and SHakers
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Great Indian Comedy Show




Now THE BOOK SECTION


Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein The Road Ahead
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Blink
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Five Point Someone
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Midnight Children
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Da Vinci Code
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein Angels And deamon
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein God Of Small Things
Gandhi Kee Dhoti mein SHANTARAM

Gandhi ki dhoti mein Kunwara baap (Mehmoods movie)

Gandhi ki dhoti mein barsaat

Gandhi ki dhoti mein daar

Gandhi ki dhoti mein baazighar

Gandhi ki dhoti mein kabhi kushi kabhi gum
rhyming Gandhi ki dhoti mein kabhi pussy kabhi bum

Gandhi ki dhoti mein Major Saab

Gandhi ki Dhoti mein LOC

Gandhi ki dhoti mein daag

Gandhi ki dhoti mein Takkar (Suniel shetty was in this movie i think)

Gandhi ki dhoti mein Lal Baadshah

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Mirtyudata

Gandhi Ki dhoti mein hathi mere saathi

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Patthar Ke phool

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Phool Aur Kaante

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Kaante

Gandhi Ki Dhoti mein Kashmir ki kali

[batliwala]

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents
For a family story with a moral at the end of it, and
To return the next day to tell their stories.





In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example
First, " My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One
Day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket
On the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump
In the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the
Eggs broke. The moral of the story is not to put all
Your eggs in one basket.."





" Very good," said the teacher.





Next, Mary said, " We are farmers too. We had twenty
Eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got
Ten chicks. The moral of this story is not to count
Your chickens before they're hatched .."





" Very good," said the teacher again, very pleased with
The response so far.





Next it was Barney's turn to tell his story: " My dad
Told me this story about my Aunt Karen, our neighbour.... Aunt Karen
Was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got
Hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all
She had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a
Machete."





" Go on," said the teacher, intrigued.





" Aunt Karen drank the whiskey on the way down to
Prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle
Of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of
Them with the machine gun until she ran out of
Bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete
Till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten
With her bare hands."





" Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, " What did
Your father say was the moral of that frightening
Story?"





" Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's been
Drinking... ( otherwise she is interesting!)"

[batliwala]

- In a pond there are 10 fish, one of them dies, and the water level
of the pond increases. How?


Think...........try it







Yes you can................








No??? Cmon..





Can't answer..........scroll down









.. scroll...

























A - The other 9 fish are crying.................



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Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) : Phulwa, RaamPyaari,
RaamDulari,RaamPuri and RaamChuri were crawling on the wall when
all of a sudden, Phulwa started to sing a song. The moment Phulwa
stopped singing the song, RaamPyaari,RaamDulari, RaamPuri and
RaamChuri fell down from the wall !!!. WHY ???


scroll down for answer. . . . . . . . . .
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yaar..
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coz, they all started clapping !!!!



------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ek Aur PJ Isse kehte hain.........

Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai.
lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti hai.
so he goes to the canteen.
canteen mein gattu ek pav leta hai. jaise hi woh pav khane ke
liye
uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein "jannat" likha hai.
To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska lecture attend
karke
aa raha hai! , us professor ka naam kya hai???

guess

scroll down for the answer
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The answer is :Ishq Ki Chhaon.

Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....





Don't scratch ur head, this is a song from the film "Dil Se"


One More

What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?
- ...and the Answer
is..........
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- HASINA !



Whatz a PJ ?
Obviously "a poor joke"





Whatz a (P + i J)?









- A "complex poor joke"


Why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?

- scroll down for answer.......



























- more boss....



























Bcoz the joke part of it is
imaginary.



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Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2
cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have
anything el se with you in the boat? How will you do it?






























Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the
boat will
become LIGHTER.......using this LIGHTER you can light the other
cigarette



Another deadly answer. scroll down a little




































Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches
win
Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the
cigarette


If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down
























Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani.

Pani ne aag lagayee."

us aag se hamne cigare tte jalayee".







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A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?

"So, which platform are you working on?"










*****************************-*************************
Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love with each
other and want to get married, but cannot.
Why?







;;;;;;;;;;;


\\


\\











Ans: Because under Indian laws, "baal vivaah" is illegal.









Now get back to work …..enough of brainstorming !!......................................

[thursdayblitzkreig]

Wife: Honey..... What are you looking for?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
**********

Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.

**********

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

**********
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can
there be greater than this one?"

**********

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.

**********

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

**********

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE"
**********

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
**********

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: " Billionaire"

**********

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. hahahahaha

**********

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face ?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.





Enjoy

kora

[khozism]

I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"



---Khozem.