Feeling lost in your new home..Unhappy expats is back!

[Teema]

I'm an expat in Singapore too, and not always happy being here.

However, reading from this post, I think the Singaporeans might get ticked off, and perhaps rightly so. You guys should try to refrain from directly criticizing Singapore and Singaporeans.

What do you think when people come over to YOUR country and start to criticize the country and its people?


You came to Singapore by choice. At least have some respect for the host

[Currymeister]

I'm an expat in Singapore too

really? surprises me, you can spot your type a mile off. Expats don't have to announce upfront that they are expats.

However, reading from this post, I think the Singaporeans might get ticked off, and perhaps rightly so. You guys should try to refrain from directly criticizing Singapore and Singaporeans.

The point of an expat forum is sharing whatever comes to mind, people are entitled to say and feel waht they like, they are trying to get to grips with being here, it's not easy in the beginning for some

What do you think when people come over to YOUR country and start to criticize the country and its people? .

Fine. I'm originally from UK, so I would expect it. :0)

I'll say again though Teema, I wouldn't go on an expat site in the UK and have a go at expats for forming views about my country or the people. It's a free country and they are entitled to their views. They need that suportive network and you could understand them being homesick, emotional or angry at a local that just treated them badly. they may need to let that out in a written forum, to get it off their chest, talk to someone who will listen and may have been through the same. Someone who can then offer comfort, advice or a friendly glass of wine and a natter.

You came to Singapore by choice. At least have some respect for the host

I personally didn't. I was forced by my company. I was halfway through a contract in SEA that I had to honour. Other's have come due to a spouse's job, and yes some had a choice. It doesn't really matter. We are here, trying to get to grips with that, so why don't you?

If you've nothing supportive to say, then you are obviously here for a fight. Well take your fight elsewhere

[notwavingdrowning]

[quote="Teema"]I'm an expat in Singapore too, and not always happy being here.

Its great reading from your old posts - you have a busy, active life..are not suffering one bit! Congrats..But Teema, Imagine you are a new Mum, with a new born..A husband off on week long business trip..you have been here 6 weeks..Know no one..You are on your way to the Doctors in a taxi..Baby has a fever, you have mastitis..Cabbie "keeps" your credit card...You have cash of course..but it is at home...Its pouring rain..This happened to someone I know...Teema, one day in this womans shoes...You would be screaming blue murder at the whole damned human race...

quote="Teema" However, reading from this post, I think the Singaporeans might get ticked off, and perhaps rightly so. You guys should try to refrain from directly criticizing Singapore and Singaporeans.

Give us a break, this thread is for EXPATS struggling for whatever reason..I am happy now- Absolutley fabulous- have friends, start a great new job on Monday. However, I just passed my 3 month mark...I started this thread and the one like it before because I had such a difficult time in the begining..First 7 weeks were a killer..This thread is not a place for sensorship...If you want to say you think Singapore is the worst place in the world (which no one has) then go ahead!

quote="Teema" What do you think when people come over to YOUR country and start to criticize the country and its people?

Could not give a damn! I know its an amazing place (Australia) but I could list its problems and make it run an A4 page...Say whatever you want, I could not care less! All Countries have their serious issues...Mind you when I am at home I do not hang out on EXPAT web sites looking to critisize foreigners trying to find their feet and wanting to talk openly to others in the same boat..


Clearly Teema has not read this thread properly or Unhappy Expats the First Edition..(go back to find) or he/she would see what this thread is really about and what its intentions are.. Also what a life saver it has been for some of us...

Teema..be greatful you have none of the problems a lot of us (particularly the women and Mums have) judging by the flood of private messages I have received over the last 2 months since these 2 threads started...You are very lucky..

[notwavingdrowning]

So pleased to talk to you yesterday Bebe..Just haveing a single person to reach out to in the early weeks of arrival is a godsend..

I remember my first weeks here..actually they are dimming..like childbirth..the pain seems hard to recal..but I do know the hardest thing was not being able to express how I felt..Could not tell Hubby how I really felt, otherwise he would not have felt safe leaving me alone...

Plus the gulity look on his face when he would get home and see I had been crying just made me feel worse..Which is why this thread was started..

It literally saved me...If it helps just one other person (and I know it has) then it needs to be here...

There was no thread like this when I came..Just everyone happy playing tennis, or planning drinking nights..(exagerate) but you get the point..So speak out people...Do not be worried about offending anyone..Its about YOU and how YOU are coping as a new person in a new place...

It makes you feel better expressing...which I think is why forums were invented..this thread anyway

Ps..Cant wait to meet some of you at CurryMeisters next Peas In A Pod gathering...

(another amazing thing that came out of Unhappy Expats the 1st...Peas in a Pod)

[Petales Soufflez!]

NWD!

I'm really happy for you that you're starting a new job (and already thinking that it'll be great ) and that you're feeling much better. That certainly didn't sound like you a few months ago!

Anyway, I'm Singaporean but I'm not offended by what I've been reading in this thread (and the one before). I believe in free speech and I respect the fact that everyone goes though different personal experiences even though they are in the same place etc.

And I certainly believe in the need to whinge!

However, if I follow this thread (sometimes), it's because I want to understand why some expats (and I'm an expat myself in another country) feel the way they do about Singapore. I think my country is wonderful (of course I'm biased), but I also know that she has loads of shortcomings, and I can live with the fact that nobody can please everybody.

And believe it or not, it sheds light on the way I myself feel as an expat in my own foreign country and I've been able to help other expats arriving in Modena get over their blues accordingly.

You know what they say, the means justify the end. So if expats in Singapore need a thread like this to help them find their feet, then they are welcome to it. Just as long as they do not start calling us names or insult us as a race or nation, they can say whatever they want.

[notwavingdrowning]

[quote="Petales Soufflez!"]NWD!

I'm really happy for you that you're starting a new job (and already thinking that it'll be great ) and that you're feeling much better. That certainly didn't sound like you a few months ago!

Anyway, I'm Singaporean but I'm not offended by what I've been reading in this thread (and the one before). I believe in free speech and I respect the fact that everyone goes though different personal experiences even though they are in the same place etc.

And I certainly believe in the need to whinge!

-edited only to keep post shorter..

Thank you so much Petales...

I dont know if you have read "Peas in a Pod" ...It was a spin off from my original thread...

We had our second meet up yesterday...9 couples showed, 60% from last time and some new ones...and believe me- It was like an 80's Benneton Ad (for those too young to remember- models used were of every colour of the rainbow)

But sadly the only nationality misssing from both meets were Singaporean...and we all know you guys are on this forum

Just so no one thinks it is about race...At our two meetings we had nationalities from all 4 corners... Japanese, Indian, American, African, British, Turkish, Romanian, Dutch, German, Aussie, Scottish, Philopeno, French and Danish....

So I hope people see its not about race or colour- and the only trashing of anything last night- was about the service...Actually not even trashing of that...More the manager when he disputed the fact that double billing was going on...But apparently that is a national past time here anyway!

The rest of the time it was just talking and laughing about anything and everything over lots of cocktails and beers!

I really hope at our next meet a local couple turn up, *I REALLY want to make friends with locals...So do my other friends...and then they could post here that we are not about trashing Singapore or Singaporeans- not on these threads anyhow- its about moving to a new place and not knowing anyone...

*I have found it hard to meet and make friends with locals...At our condo we had a BBQ with our expat neighbours- 35 of them...

Not a local in sight- I met all my neighbours (some who have become good friends) by saying hello by the poolside/gym/bbq area etc (we live in a fantastic environment with 3 condos surounding a hotel resort type setting-ripe for meeting people)...I say hello to my local neighbours, they just smile back (mostly) then walk away, I have tried talking to them but they just do not seem interested...

My expat neighbours have the same experience.. We are an attractive, happy, kind bunch mostly in our 30's but they just dont seem to want to get past, "hello"...I wonder why?

[Zeenit]

So far I think SIngapore is a nice place but because I have NO FRIENDS here I am starting to be sad just missing my friends back home and adult company.

I do not want to get into a rut where my husband gets home from work and is dreading seeing me been sad. That will put alot of strain on our new and happy marriage.

So all I can do is pray that I make friends and settle in here. I was an expat in the UK, I am from South Africa, and know how hard it is to make friends especially when you dont work and have no kids to be the tool to meet other people.

take care

[Leone and John]

I am with you Zeenit (as you know!) it is not that easy to meet new people for various reasons....

..... much easier when you have children, as you can then meet at playgrounds, school etc. Everyone at the same stage of life usually share the same issues.

I am very happy here and keep myself quite busy with various activities and hobbies.

But 'tis always nice to meet a new person - with or without children.

[crystal_clear]

I've been here for a year. It was not easy to adjust here especially with the language barrier since I cannot speak Chinese no matter how hard I tried to recall what I've learnt on Mandarin class 5 yrs ago
Anyway, since it was very frustrating to keep remembering good old days in another country I started to keep myself busy with work and other activities, like joining dance course. And now I get the swing of things here. Just try out many things and make yourself comfortable

[Zeenit]

I've been here for a year. It was not easy to adjust here especially with the language barrier since I cannot speak Chinese no matter how hard I tried to recall what I've learnt on Mandarin class 5 yrs ago
Anyway, since it was very frustrating to keep remembering good old days in another country I started to keep myself busy with work and other activities, like joining dance course. And now I get the swing of things here. Just try out many things and make yourself comfortable

I have decided not to sit here and feel sorry for little me. So I registered as a volunteer and I have been shortlisted. So thats good news for my day.

[Currymeister]

Well done! Good for you. I hoep you get it.
CM

[astr]

Another one of 'those' days!

I've been longing for this samdwich at a place down Ochard rd. & I finally managed to go back there today. But turns out the sun dried tomates that were supposed to be in there are out of stock & the so was the blue cheese. But as much as I love that sandwich I can deal with that. So then I decided to order something else.......but another ingerdient that was supposed to be in that was .....what else, but out of stock & the same thing happened to the 3rd thing that I wanted. So I finally setteled for a pizza. The attendant tried to convince me not to order the one I wanted. But I still insisted on having it. But that does not matter because I still got what he wanted me to have. Guess what? No cheese. UGGHHH!!!!...& still all that was ok, because even though being a restraunt their kitchen lacks half the ingredients listed in the menu (that they intend to update 'someday') the staff was not rude. that made it all so bareable & the cheeseless pizza still went down.

But thats the good part of my day. On my way back home from the train station, I decided to cab it. As I ask him to take a 'Riht! Right! Right!!! It's like he can't hear me. He's already turned left. I got really annoyed & asked him to stop & I got off at once. I told him that I did not want to take his cab.
next thing I know, he's got off & he comes screaming at me to pay him. For what? For taking me in the wrong dirrection? Being peak hr I have have to pay a lot more than usual to get home anyway. & with him going the wrong way that would be even more than that. I'm not there for the ride. I just want to get home, I shouldn't have to pay extra for his mistake. We start arguing & he threatens to take me to the police if I dont pay him. (Can you beat that!!! He goes the wrong way & then he threatens me!) I agreed. I told him I don't mind going to the police. 'How about right now?' But he still stood there & insisted that I pay him. I told him I'll pay him if he's willing to make a U turn right now & take me home & even then I would pay him less than what the metre read. He could take it or leave it. So he finally agreed.

On the way home he taunted me that next time I shouldn't bother taking a cab, I should just take the bus home. I'm not taking a ride in his taxi to listen to him tell me off. So I retaliated & told him that he shouldn't bother driving a cab, he should go find another job. Then he accuses me of taking advantage of him because he's old & has no parents. Oh please!!! If 45 is old then he should retire to the home for the aged. I'm deffinitely making a complaint tomorrrow morning.

I'm venting here. If anyone reads this & has nothing nice to say, don't bother. Cos you'll only have more sh*t throw back at you. I'm really upset rightnow. So save you're breath. It may loook like a small thing to some people but from now on I'm not taking bull. I've even had one taxi call me CB & other slurs in mandrin because he was going the wrong way & did not want to accept his mistake. i'm deffinitely making complaints bout anyone being a b*tch to me from now on.

[notwavingdrowning]

This is why this thread is here...I hope you feel better after that vent Astr...You have every right to be pissed off!

You and Bebe have both had bad runs lately with cabbies...

Mind you 95% of the Singapore cabbies are amazing...

Ps...dont ever go to my country though..the taxi drivers there are horrid..95% of them are a nightmare...I dont blame them though, I blame the Australian Govt for making the cabbie test 2 days long (the law changed as there was a massive shortage of drivers) and so none of them know where they are going as most of them are students and foreigners themselves and are being paid minimum wage...

There have been stabbings and hitruns and many fights in Oz between driver and passenger... and many people who live in the city (formerly me) bought a car as the act of being abused in a cabbie when I only had a short distance to go was too stressful..

I feel sorry for cabbies though...they work pretty hard...but most of the drivers here are so incredible...they go beyond the call of duty (getting bags in and out for you- unheard of in my country) and if you tip them even a dollar they are so greatful...In my country- they expect it- even for rude service (I am talking about Melbourne specifically)

When I leave Singapore- its one of the things that I will miss most...the taxis...95% of them...

[moniker]

Hi everyone, I just signed up. It took me about 2 weeks of lurking to finally get the courage to sign up and post. So, bear with me.

I just found the post of notwavingdrowning, and I was relieved to find someone who shared similar sentiments as me. I have been in Singapore for 3 weeks now, the first two weeks were really rough. I couldn't eat and lost my appetite -- and I am a foodie! I was ready to chuck the whole idea and go back home. Unlike notwavingdrowning, my move was a conscious decision. I decided to embark on an adventure and I am trying to find a job opportunity here. Never did I think when I started this project I would say to myself 'What the hell were you thinking!!'. I had been to Singapore on holiday, and loved it. Loved it enough to try and move here. But all illusions have been shattered, visiting and living are two different things.

I must say, things are slowly getting better. However, it is still terribly lonely I find. I had lived in London before (for almost 3 years), and I found it much easier to make friends there. Thinking that SG is almost as diverse as London, meeting people would be as easy. On the contrary, it's a lot harder. Perhaps because I feel so miserable at times it comes across, and I turn people away. Hahahah.... But really, I just don't feel myself.

I am really glad that you guys have set up a "ranting" post. It's a place for people like us to vent. I think SG could be a great please to be, however, there is only so much you can do alone. I know there are people you can meet online, but at the same time I find it rather daunting.

Anyhoo... enough of my navel gazing hahaha Just venting really. And saying hello to fellow temporarily unhappy expats like myself. Hello

[Teema]

I'm an expat in Singapore too

really? surprises me, you can spot your type a mile off. Expats don't have to announce upfront that they are expats.

However, reading from this post, I think the Singaporeans might get ticked off, and perhaps rightly so. You guys should try to refrain from directly criticizing Singapore and Singaporeans.

The point of an expat forum is sharing whatever comes to mind, people are entitled to say and feel waht they like, they are trying to get to grips with being here, it's not easy in the beginning for some

What do you think when people come over to YOUR country and start to criticize the country and its people? .

Fine. I'm originally from UK, so I would expect it. :0)

I'll say again though Teema, I wouldn't go on an expat site in the UK and have a go at expats for forming views about my country or the people. It's a free country and they are entitled to their views. They need that suportive network and you could understand them being homesick, emotional or angry at a local that just treated them badly. they may need to let that out in a written forum, to get it off their chest, talk to someone who will listen and may have been through the same. Someone who can then offer comfort, advice or a friendly glass of wine and a natter.

You came to Singapore by choice. At least have some respect for the host

I personally didn't. I was forced by my company. I was halfway through a contract in SEA that I had to honour. Other's have come due to a spouse's job, and yes some had a choice. It doesn't really matter. We are here, trying to get to grips with that, so why don't you?

If you've nothing supportive to say, then you are obviously here for a fight. Well take your fight elsewhere

Do tell me, how are expats "supposed" to behave?
Just because I say I'm an expat, that automatically classifies me as "some type"?
You must be the wisest person on earth!

You preach so much about freely expressing opinions and ideas, and you cannot take another view point that's different from you. Tough luck!