Interesting thread here
Always good to vent and find kindred spirits.
Myself have been moving around from place to place every 1-3 years on average (USA, France, Spain, Germany, Italy...) and it has always been a very mixed feelings kind of experience. Always looked forward to meeting new people, learning new languages, cultures, food etc, but somehow always found something (weather, food, bureaucracy, inefficiency, people...) to complain, whine etc (alot) about. Of course I miss my friends and family too, and I prefer the food, weather etc in Singapore, hard to believe as it may be.
But on the whole, I personally find that attitude has alot to do with whether you manage to adapt or not. It's usually for 1-3 years, and time flies. So I try to make the most of it parallel to my whining. In my experience, it usually takes at least 18 months to settle down and feel better and then it'll be time to leave. It's really quite ironic, but I usually "hated" being there and then I would also hate leaving.
It helps that I have my small family with me (spouse and kids) so it doesn't really matter where I go, we'll do fine. At the same time, if I were alone, I suspect that I'd do even better (like I did before) due to more flexibility etc.
And I always bring a part of the last country I was in with me. It adds on to my own culture and knowledge, way of life, eating habits etc. And it is also often a pleasure finding citizens from the countries I've lived in in my new country - like I'm as American, German, French, Spanish or Italian as they are! And in a way, I like to think that I am
Maybe that's why in Singapore many locals like to mix with the expat crowd. Brings back the experiences they have had when they were living overseas. I was a member of the French Alumni in Singapore, for example, if I were still living in Singapore, I know I'd miss France. Here in Italy, I am part of the tiny Singapore group, the larger Asian group, the English-speaking group, the French-speaking group, I do activities with the Germans and the Swedes, I have a good Bulgarian friend who used to live in China and who has Singaporean friends, and I try to make friends with the locals. I still whine, of course, very loudly too, but I'm also a part of things happening around me. Very often, of course, I would also be the one organising them.
My marriage grows stronger with each move we made. We go where our bread is buttered, and we grow together as a couple, as individuals and and as parents no matter where we are. There are moments the spouse knows I'm not happy wherever we are, the kids could face very serious problems with their schooling or friendships, but then we did make the decision to move together and we usually try to live thru the decision together. I do not think that people usually make decisions to move on a whim, and no expatriation, in my humble opinion, should end up making the other feeling like it was his or her fault everyone was there.
It is interesting to read about why people dislike Singapore. Sometimes that's how we feel about our own country, many times you realise that you just do not look at or feel about the same things/situations the same way. Mais c'est la vie. Can't please everybody and neither can everybody please us.
I can only hope that you either manage to have a more bearable existence in your remaining months or years here, or be able to make a "wiser" expatriation decision after Singapore. You know what they say, there are no good or bad choices in life, just the need (and courage) to keep making more and more of them.
Good luck!
Je pense donc je suis. Le reste du temps, je ne suis qu'une fleur.
