Looking for other unhappy expats. Are you there?

[joski]

Hey Gilly,
I think ur idea is great. I'm an Aussie who has just moved from the UK where I have been living and one of my big things I know i"m going to miss is my social network.

I have a handful of wonderful singaporean friends here and I love them to bits but moving to a place that is different does require a little bit of a local expat network.

You do need to vent, share experiences and have people tell you it will be ok.

When my fiance passed away last year I spent a lot of time on a widows forum- not because my friends were amazing support but just becuause there were things they couldn't relate to...

I'm only 2 days into my time in Singapore but have had tears both nights and while i know this is an amazing place with so much to offer catching up with some other expats and having a few drinks/ dinner / what ever and sharing the eperience would also be amazing!

Essentially this is an epat forum where newbies like me can come along and find the support that moving to a new city might need!

[sundaymorningstaple]

What you guys are talking about has been attempted over and over without success. The reason? How are you going to maintain your privacy? The oldest board here, ExpatsSingapore is inundated by local trolls and the management of the board has a bunch of edjits for administrators. This caused a breakaway and SingaporeForum was created by a bunch of the breakaways. That site, commonly referred to as "the sewing circle" was very cliquish and put off most people but didn't stop some locals from becoming longtime members. I was also on that site. It closed down early this year. Two years ago there were some who broke away from here as well due to some perceived problems. A lot have returned here and still are over there as well. The shut down site mentioned before has also been reincarnated as Singaporum and the membership is about the same (including myself as well). There was another board as well but it never got many hits and I think died also. My links page has a listing of a number of other "expat" oriented board here in the region. But all have mixed members.

How are you going to filter out "non" expats? Require copies of their passports(?) before letting them register? Expats? (what is your definition?) How about all the Shipyard workers, pest control workers, factory workers? Everybody here that is not a Singaporean is an Expat by definition. Or do you plan on operating it based or racism? religion? Country Centric? Favouritism? Vote? Do you realize what you are suggesting?

To put is bluntly, "ain't gonna happen". Even having a sub-forum here, how would you filter it? Leave it up to a Moderator to determine who has access or not? Sure it can be done via password access, easy-peasy but who becomes the gate-keeper. And how does one know if they are Local or not as most here use cached IP addresses from the 3 major ISP's here.

I think you guys should just use a little bit of the old common-sense and a modicum of understanding as well. The world is "global" now.

sms

OH! Astr, it's nice to see you starting to use all the keyboard now. You don't type like a "local" now!

[micknlea]

Have to admit SMS is pretty much right. How on earth would you limit your space to "expats" only? How do you know if I am an expat or not?

I say keep this thread going and create others like it if need be, it is good to vent. It does make you feel better when you realise that there are lots of others out there who feel the same way about things that really get up your nose. Sometimes, just sometimes a local, one who doesn't get his/her nose out of joint because some of us don't like the place, will offer some good reasons for why some of the things are like they are and it is good to read that side of things as well.

If you lock yourselves away it will be difficult for others to join in as they have done here. Look how many have joined in so far, and probably just feel better telling someone how they feel.

I've been here a few years now and believe me there are times when I absolutely hate the place, and would gladly take that plane out of Changi (as those on the angry board are so want to tell us) but I can't, it isn't that easy and I just make do with what I have here. Other times I do like it here, as time goes on I still don't love it, but it's not as bad as it was at the start, still every time I go home it is hard to get on a plane to come back, just not as hard as it was before.

notwavingdrowning, great idea for starting this thread.

[QRM]

How are you going to filter out "non" expats? :

Try banning people who:

1. Can not be bothered to type the whole word out.
2. Let tongue in cheek comments fly over their heads.
3. Can not make a decent soufflé
4. Start flying the national flag the moment someone mentions a criticisms.
5. Cant laugh about their own country.
6. Don't use indicators/mirrors on roads.
7. Never hold doors open, or stop for a chat at the bottom of escalators.
8. Chew with their mouth open.


I like the locals on this forum it makes it more fun, and you do get to see a whole different side of life. There are expats who have been here longer than the merlin, and are more local than some of the locals.

[astr]

OH! Astr, it's nice to see you starting to use all the keyboard now. You don't type like a "local" now!

i never did. & i still havent adapted to singlish. still dont get those people at work. WTF is.."Aye sorry ah, i being rude..(& then go on to insult you or your country)" like they'r taking my permission to insult me.

& for the record i'd just like to state that i 'thought' (past tense) wif was cute. that's it & it was so easy to push ur buttos wif that ......don't think i still use the full keyboard

[Shankar]

yeah.. appreciate that you have dropped the habit of using sms'nglish and typing wholesome words now.

[astr]

Hey Gilly,
I think ur idea is great. I'm an Aussie who has just moved from the UK where I have been living and one of my big things I know i"m going to miss is my social network.

I have a handful of wonderful singaporean friends here and I love them to bits but moving to a place that is different does require a little bit of a local expat network.

You do need to vent, share experiences and have people tell you it will be ok.

When my fiance passed away last year I spent a lot of time on a widows forum- not because my friends were amazing support but just becuause there were things they couldn't relate to...

I'm only 2 days into my time in Singapore but have had tears both nights and while i know this is an amazing place with so much to offer catching up with some other expats and having a few drinks/ dinner / what ever and sharing the eperience would also be amazing!

Essentially this is an epat forum where newbies like me can come along and find the support that moving to a new city might need!

hey joski,

this place is horrid for a newbie. i've been here 2 yrs. very soon the few close friends i've managed to make will be leaving work & the country. some already have. i have no mor motivation to stay & put up with this sh*t. but it's my bond with the company thats keeping me here. which means i have to get out of my shell & find new friends again. & that's terribly not easy in a place like this. so you're deffo not alone.

how bout drinks or a meal on wednesday night? let's both try & cheer up over a jud of margarita. i've also pm'd you my agents no. to help you with your house hunt.

till then take solace in the moody weather. that's what i do!

& all of you other unhappy EXPATS are most welcome to join injust msg mer & i'll arrange it

[notwavingdrowning]

Bloody FANTASTIC...This thread has gone gangbusters all of a sudden!

Thank you all of you- it is providing me with much entertainment...QRM in particular

For the record, meeting thru this forum does work...especially when you meet as a group. I have been here 8 weeks and know almost 20 people I can call on and out of the 20 I have met thru 2 different groups I can call 4 of them friends..developing into good friends...

I was at a dinner for 8 on Saturday night, 4 couples- and as I was returning from the ladies room I heard my name being called out...The restaurant next door held another friend I really like...Not bad for 8 weeks!

I am so greatful for this forum- and even though I was miserable when I started this thread- things really have turned the corner for me- dont give up out there...

As for the "locals" who took offense earlier in my thread- they would not dare speak now...there really is safety in numbers!

Thanks again everyone- sincerely greatful

[familyof5]

glad to hear it NWD.

[Gilly]

I think we should take SMS's advice. A separate area would be good but it would take a lot of moderating. It has been done sms, I know of an expat forum that does work, but the country doesn't have so many desperate locals to try and keep out.

So we could use this thread as our base? Until it gets too big )

So let's start a monthly meet-up. EXPATS ONLY.

Sorry local folk, it's not about racism? religion? favouritism? or anything like that, it's just a supportive group for like minded people, everyone has them...women, mothers, widows, AA's.

This one is for expats.

Shall we have our first meet-up this weekend?

Unless the majority suggests otherwise let's start mid afternoon (3pm) and carry on into evening. People can come and go all day/night - whatever time suits. Die hards can go on all day/night if they want.

I'm happy to do the early shift, the welcome party so to speak!

Let's see who's up for that, then we can arrange a venue depending on numbers.

Looking forward to it!!

So please add your names in a reply.

Please state name and country of origin.

[QRM]

out of the 20 I have met thru 2 different groups I can call 4 of them friends..developing into good friends...

Ha Ha the other 16 are wonder which one of them are lemons

NWD you sound like a different person from your first post, Good for you

[notwavingdrowning]

I guess you want private messages.. RSVPs for this weekend 26th July Saturday...Of course you do...Its the humidity you see..Got to keep up the complaining or the thread will lose all meaning

Can you do an update on numbers every couple of days please? You are a legend for organising this Gilly

[Saint]

I think we should take SMS's advice. A separate area would be good but it would take a lot of moderating. It has been done sms, I know of an expat forum that does work, but the country doesn't have so many desperate locals to try and keep out.

So we could use this thread as our base? Until it gets too big )

So let's start a monthly meet-up. EXPATS ONLY.

Sorry local folk, it's not about racism? religion? favouritism? or anything like that, it's just a supportive group for like minded people, everyone has them...women, mothers, widows, AA's.

This one is for expats.

Shall we have our first meet-up this weekend?

Unless the majority suggests otherwise let's start mid afternoon (3pm) and carry on into evening. People can come and go all day/night - whatever time suits. Die hards can go on all day/night if they want.

I'm happy to do the early shift, the welcome party so to speak!

Let's see who's up for that, then we can arrange a venue depending on numbers.

Looking forward to it!!

So please add your names in a reply.

Please state name and country of origin.

Ah what a shame I wont be able to join as my Wife and I enjoy going out together

[Gilly]

I think we should take SMS's advice. A separate area would be good but it would take a lot of moderating. It has been done sms, I know of an expat forum that does work, but the country doesn't have so many desperate locals to try and keep out.

So we could use this thread as our base? Until it gets too big )

So let's start a monthly meet-up. EXPATS ONLY.

Sorry local folk, it's not about racism? religion? favouritism? or anything like that, it's just a supportive group for like minded people, everyone has them...women, mothers, widows, AA's.

This one is for expats.

Shall we have our first meet-up this weekend?

Unless the majority suggests otherwise let's start mid afternoon (3pm) and carry on into evening. People can come and go all day/night - whatever time suits. Die hards can go on all day/night if they want.

I'm happy to do the early shift, the welcome party so to speak!

Let's see who's up for that, then we can arrange a venue depending on numbers.

Looking forward to it!!

So please add your names in a reply.

Please state name and country of origin.

Ah what a shame I wont be able to join as my Wife and I enjoy going out together

Okay wise crack

What would you do if your wife went on a girls night? Would make the same comment?

Saint, we wouldn't want to split up a couple, if one's an expat and the partner wanted to join....of course you could both join, but going by your sarkie comment you probably wouldn't want to.

But please don't get all destructive. All we're trying to do is build up a supportive group of expats, who have the same experiences. It happens well in other countries, I hope we're mature enough to set something up similar here!

[Saint]

Okay wise crack

What would you do if your wife went on a girls night? Would make the same comment?

Saint, we wouldn't want to split up a couple, if one's an expat and the partner wanted to join....of course you could both join, but going by your sarkie comment you probably wouldn't want to.

But please don't get all destructive. All we're trying to do is build up a supportive group of expats, who have the same experiences. It happens well in other countries, I hope we're mature enough to set something up similar here!

Sorry Gilly, couldn't resist

I've have been reading this thread with interest and it really doesn't surprise me that so many of you find Singapore so hard to adjust to. And as for the coments from the locals, just accept that there are going to be a few that will post coments like that.

The quicker people accept that Singapore is different, not like home etc, the easier it will be. You aren't going to change Singapore's strange and wonderful quirks and customs.

What I would recommend/advise is to not to totally try and exclude loacals from your daily life, they can be a very helpful bunch believe it or not, honest!