Dating situation for caucasian European males in Singapore

[redscarf]

bandung, you are very biased when you said that all Singapore women are only out for money. I mean...NOTHING in this world is absolute. I can tell you that it is not true. I mean, maybe some women may love the $$$, it doesn't mean that everyone is like this. I mean, we are a diverse population and each of us are individuals who have different preferences. You don't understand women and love at all. Don't you hear people saying that "Love is blind" ? When we fall in love, we often lose all the rationalness that we have...and money is no longer the only element that we seek for.

[shy_mimosa]

In general, what do marriage-minded Singaporean women look for in a man?



Well to this answer is just one word: MONEY!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY!



THey will rip your cash, credit card, hedge funds, stocks, ETFS, FX, and whatever else you have....if u dont have enough, they will just grad ur moms and dads money accounts etc... and when they have enough, they'll screw you for another man!

BUT i do hope you find a lovely women who will love you for who you are!

I would have to disagree with this derogatory post which is made out of biasedness. There are materialistic people everywhere and that's not only found in Singapore. I'm unsure what you have experienced in Singapore or with the ladies here. I've female friends who are breadwinners of the family while their husbands stay at home to care for the family. They did not ripped the guys' credit cards, cash or blah blah blah that you mentioned!

I have to admit that financial stability is one of the factors to consider among my peers but that do not stand for the views of ALL the Singaporean women. Financially stable = being able to feed himself, not to support the female. That being said, being wealthy is not the main consideration and women here are definitely not money suckers! Talking about money suckers, they are everywhere around the globe and not only in this country alone.

[Victor_Victor]

i'm really enjoying reading this thread

You're not the only one, Babykasim...

All I have to say is that it is a lot easier for a Caucasian male to find an Asian girlfriend than for a Caucasian female to find an Asian boyfriend. I personally know many mixed couples living in Singapore (English male + Malaysian female, Slovakian male + Malaysian female, American male + Singaporean female, American male + Filipino female, Australian male + Chinese female, etc.). In every case the girl is highly educated and earning a good salary and every couple seems to get on well despite the obvious cultural differences. The sticking point tends to be deciding where they are going to live in the future if they stay together.

However, I do not know any couple where the female is Caucasian and the male Asian. Can anyone explain why this is so uncommon? (By the way, I'm married and not looking for a boyfriend, but I'm curious).

The reason why we see disproportionately so many asian women with white men and not vice versa is actually very simple --- social status.

I dont think think its controversial when I say that women are by nature attracted by power and status. Evolution has shaped humans such that women subconciously seek out higher-ranked males -- who have a higher chance of providing for the young and thus passing on their genes. On the other hand, men have evolved to seek out young and beautiful women because youth and beauty are indicators of fertility. Again, all this is innate in us and not something we consciously think about, but it is quite obviously true. That is the reason why we see gorgeous women, ie models, actresses marry very rich men -- simply because they are the top dogs in their respective fields and hence have many choices to pick from.

Going back to the point with asian women and white men in singapore, it is pretty obvious that in the present social climate, white men are considered by popular culture to be superior, asian men lower. A singaporean girl who manages to marry a white men will be considered to have married up -- it increases her social options, she can mix around with even more expats or move overseas to richer western countries. A white woman will seldom marry an asian guy for the opposite reason. To make this clearer , you can compare this with the phenomenon of seeing many poorer chinese guys marrying vietnamese and PRC brides and not the other way round.

Of course you can talk about individual cases (ie highly educated asian women with extremely poor white guys etc etc), but I believe the above explanation accounts for most if not all of the disparity between AW-WM and AM-WW.

[QRM]

Lets not forget the cultural issue, that most Asian men still expect their wives to be the subservient partner of the relationship, something a western women is less likely to accept. It is for the exact same but opposite reason western men tend to go for the bamboo curtain.

[Victor_Victor]

Lets not forget the cultural issue, that most Asian men still expect their wives to be the subservient partner of the relationship, something a western women is less likely to accept. It is for the exact same but opposite reason western men tend to go for the bamboo curtain.

Hmm .. not sure about that. In poorer asian countries, thats probably true .. but thats true of all poor societies isnt it ? The poorer the society, the less respect given to women --- thats more or less a constant throughout all societies in history.

My personal view, from what i see in singapore, is that asian men dont as a matter of fact expect subservience .. but i could be wrong.

[Orhid_Maple]

Wow, I must say I am a little overwhelmed by the large number of responses this thread has received, but I realize it's a very controversial topic. It's now quite obvious to me that relocating to Singapore is an extremely bad idea so I will remain in Denmark. I would like to thank everybody who contributed to this thread and helped me make a wise decision.

Hi I am Singaporean. I am also single and consider myself a quality woman looking and waiting for a quality man to appear in my life ;p. I think relocating is a big decision. I will relocate for family, work or love. I will not relocate to find love. This thread is interesting. But I learn not to generalize people and things. THere are many types of people in this world. You just cannot generalize. Everyone is so different. Part of the fun is getting to know them. good luck to us all.

[Victor_Victor]

Wow, I must say I am a little overwhelmed by the large number of responses this thread has received, but I realize it's a very controversial topic. It's now quite obvious to me that relocating to Singapore is an extremely bad idea so I will remain in Denmark. I would like to thank everybody who contributed to this thread and helped me make a wise decision.

As an singaporean asian guy, i must say relocating from one end of the earth to the other just to date asian women sounds like a really dumb idea (sry for that, trying to help you wake up).

95% of the time these are the types of girls you would end up with: either an SPG(most likely), a highly educated girl from a US university with a cultural inferiority complex (2nd most likely), and lastly the stereotypical meek subservient asian wife. All 3 options are unlikely to lead to long term happiness .. The best way to get laid (or love, depending on your perspective) is through your activities and interests , meet girls who share the same interests and get to know her slowly ...

Take care

[Carla London]

I must say this is a very interesting thread indeed. I am Indonesian and my husband is English (and he is a year younger than me before anybody makes any assumptions). We met when we both working in a holiday resort in Maldives.

We got married in our early 20s with no money, just because of love (sounds quite naïve, huh!). When we first lived together in the UK life was hard. We both worked long hours in the Finance industry. With our career progression and motivation we are now in a better position financially. We share the house work between us, so it’s not only me who does the cooking and cleaning. Our relationship is an equal partnership, we support each other.

The point of my comment is that not all Asian girls are gold diggers. Like any other nationalities some of them are but some of them aren’t.
We are moving to Singapore soon. I think this will be a challenge for me as people will automatically pre-judge me as I am an Asian girl with a European husband.
If I can give my two cents, stay where you are, it’s not logical to relocate to a new country to find love.

Carla

[macaroonie]

Really loved reading this post. Though it sounds like all girls are gold diggers which is definitely not the case, i have met many singaporeans, male and female who are not gold diggers at all.

But on another note, many people are also opting not to get married these days, to asians or otherwise. Is this just a trend or my biased opinion?

[Nath21]

Really loved reading this post. Though it sounds like all girls are gold diggers which is definitely not the case, i have met many singaporeans, male and female who are not gold diggers at all.

But on another note, many people are also opting not to get married these days, to asians or otherwise. Is this just a trend or my biased opinion?

Statistics from Australia say otherwise, that people are getting married more, highest on level in over 40 years last year, that they are staying together more, i.e less divorce. The social commentators put it down to two key areas. Co habitation between partners before marriage which leads to "divorce" before marriage where partners test each other out and also the trend in the last generation of women to be highly educated and more travelled thus putting off marriage and child birth to early 30's and therefore being more settled and more experienced in their relationships. They also then tend to have less reason to leave their partners because they are financially much better off than having children in early 20's. I would say the second point relates to Singapore but probably not much co habitation here when so much living with their parents.

As for gold diggers I have never seen so many good looking young women with fat old caucasions men in all my life but I am not very well travelled in Asia.

[ldybug]

"As for gold diggers I have never seen so many good looking young women with fat old caucasions men in all my life but I am not very well travelled in Asia." Nath21 -- haha, my sentiments exactly!!! Though I might add that sometimes it's bad looking young women too, just to balance the equation.

I'm a Singaporean girl & I'm 23, relocated back to Singapore a month ago after years away. This was an interesting thread to glance through.

Carsten hope you aren't going to move here with the sole intention of dating... I can promise you it might prove to be a disappointment. In my month and a bit here I have had the misfortune of meeting a few girls who have shown high degrees of "SPG" syndrome..... yucks is all I can say.

That said, it happened that the two times I fell in love/like I had relationships with a Kiwi and a French man. And I can tell you, inter-cultural relationships bring a host of things to think about/work through..... bit more than we had bargained for!

Oh man, I really need to get to bed to wake up for work. Look forward to seeing how the thread continues.

[sasyboy]

Ohhh 85 posts!!

[Special Girl]

it may be cheaper but certainly not healthier.

Its incredibly difficult to find healthy food out here in sg.

[Elizabella]

Well, inter-country courtships & marriages will not be easy. There are a lot of giving & taking (due to cultural & social upbringings) in such a marriage, it really boiled down to the maturity of the couple and what they wants at the developmental condition of their life cycle. Are they only testing the field or are they ready to settle down?

Age is not the main factor, healthy relationship needs the ability to understand and communication at the same level... that is what we call as 'soul-mates'.

Singapore is really a melting pot of different nationals. And I am able to share some little 'nuggets' about this issue due to that I'm the 3rd generation of EAST Meet WEST marriages. TRUE LOVES does happens!

My paternal grandpa is a seaman from Portugal who eventually settled down in Burma after he met native Grandma from there. Later, my Eurasian Dad came to seek his fortune in Singapore and married my Mum who is from China. So basically, I'm a 'product' of Singapore...

The main problem that I see in such marriages is that there need to be great acceptance of each other's unique way of life and to find a common point to balance out everything. From the simple basic of food to the different ways of handling cultural issues... not forgetting all those funny language errors as the couple try to learn each other's native tongue. These are the best jokes during our family gathering each time.

Of course the FUN is that the couple (& the family) will get to experience greater exploration of each other cultures and gaining broader insights about respecting & honoring these 'differences' bring, which is tolerance & finally, true acceptance.

Not to mention the 'cuties' you get from mixed parentage. No, I'm not talking about myself.

As what I always shared with my friends, marriages are all the same: OPPOSITE ATTRACTS, OPPOSITE ATTACKS.... FINALLY, OPPOSITE ACCEPTS... if you really wants the marriage to last.

Getting married is easy, staying married is what it takes for both couple to work on for the rest of their lives. I wish MR Carsten_54 will find his TRUE LOVE one day too. Work hard at it, Buddy!

[D_Mika]

Well i guess it depends on how you look at it.. this thread seems really interesting and thought i would share my opinion.. well as I've seen all around Singapore more n more Expats with local girls and the way i see it with all above many have mentioned, I guess there is a big role playing in the skin colour.. I think its a Belief among Many local women that Majority of Caucasians dominate the High society around Asia and world and by Dating a
Caucasian might definitely get a free pass to be a part of it..Well i might be wrong but feel free to drop your opinion and as i know my opinion is a very sensitive and I hope i ain't making any Ethnic group uncomfortable..As its clearly not my intention in this post to point out who dominate who, Rather just expressing how i feel.
Cheers !