Why dating sites for SG don't work for Indians? :)

[sweetgazebo]

There were other men at McD's however only this Indian sleaze gave me that dirty look and I only encounter this when I am at pubs/clubs (where there are Indians in the pub/club, which I have had coupla encounters in the past but never got the chance to tell them off coz music's too loud).

... There were 2 Indian men at the counter before me however I stood a little away from them to their left.

Actually, if you head into a bar, a bit late, see how all men take note of women .. especially when you are not drunk and the menfolk are in higher spirits ..

Oh, for westerners, they tend to stare at the butt, and for Asians, generally the boobies ..

And it so happens, that, people notice 'not so handsome guys' staring at 'em, and relish the attention when it is the 'handsome' guy .. or did I miss something ?

[ecureilx]

There were other men at McD's however only this Indian sleaze gave me that dirty look and I only encounter this when I am at pubs/clubs (where there are Indians in the pub/club, which I have had coupla encounters in the past but never got the chance to tell them off coz music's too loud).

I do empathise with you, especially when I am with my other half, she being of a 'different colour' some stare at her, at me and then keep staring at her .. I wonder sometimes what runs through their mind .. And my colleague too, being married to a Polish girl .. well, after a while, you become thick skinned ..

well, didn't help when I found out from some 'friends' that a lot of people live in Bollywood world, where a hunk (as per their own standards) attracts the attention of the prettiest girl, and it is love at first site .. and song and dance .. and a fair number also get immersed in Hollywood style stuff - meet, eat, sleep .. and it is painful trying to tell 'em that life doesn't emulate movies ..

the lynx True, true ..

[ecureilx]

when i used to part time in bars, I used to suppress my laughter, when guys, totally drunk, stare at women like no tomorrow, and the 'feeling' transcends all colour and creed ..

Thing is, some people don't wait to be under the influence to leer and stare.

And some, if they will, at least are being subtle about it.

Hence my quote .. "The only difference is, some guys do it so obviously, when not drunk .. "

unlike years ago, of late, no 'staring incidents' have triggered big drama ..

[nakatago]

when i used to part time in bars, I used to suppress my laughter, when guys, totally drunk, stare at women like no tomorrow, and the 'feeling' transcends all colour and creed ..

Thing is, some people don't wait to be under the influence to leer and stare.

And some, if they will, at least are being subtle about it.

Hence my quote .. "The only difference is, some guys do it so obviously, when not drunk .. "

unlike years ago, of late, no 'staring incidents' have triggered big drama ..

BTW, HPOA, 3 o'clock.

[ecureilx]

BTW, HPOA, 3 o'clock.

Thanks but no thanks

I am happy now watching my 6 o clock !!!

[sundaymorningstaple]

unlike years ago, of late, no 'staring incidents' have triggered big drama ..

Most staring incidents of bygone years were not staring incidents at all, and you know it. They were concocted for the express purpose of the guy showing off for his "gang" mates by challenging someone for allegedly staring at "his" girl. This always happened when the numbers were clearly in the gang member's favour. Oh, they still happen, but you only find them covered in the Chinese press.

[sweetgazebo]

I got that kind of stares a lot when I was dating my ex's - german and brit. Particularly got stared hard a lot and this was back in the UK when I was dating my german ex coz he was blond hair and blue eye and curiously the (white) women there were probably wondering what a pair!

However, that said, this kind of stare is prob a questioning kinda stare. The kinda stare, which probs why you are not able to get the guy / girl of your colour and this is a diff stare and in some cases I have experienced, racist.

The kinda stares I got last night was really rude! I figured this sleaze stared coz he had a screwed up mind, coz before this sleaze, 2 chinese chaps were really polite, greeted me and asked me what I wanted and once I paid the tab, wished me good bye.

As for the bollywood part, I have yet to come across a decent indian hunk.

I do empathise with you, especially when I am with my other half, she being of a 'different colour' some stare at her, at me and then keep staring at her .. I wonder sometimes what runs through their mind .. And my colleague too, being married to a Polish girl .. well, after a while, you become thick skinned ..

well, didn't help when I found out from some 'friends' that a lot of people live in Bollywood world, where a hunk (as per their own standards) attracts the attention of the prettiest girl, and it is love at first site .. and song and dance .. and a fair number also get immersed in Hollywood style stuff - meet, eat, sleep .. and it is painful trying to tell 'em that life doesn't emulate movies ..

[thedougfunnie]

I've always stood out but grew up in pretty much all white communities.
I'm very lucky to have liberal and educated parents that didn't steer me into the typical indian life. EDIT** (however I am still very much proud of my heritage and culture, just a shame there are some, much like in any group that give us a bad name)

I have met a fair few Indians (typically extended family members) that have been pretty closed minded to the point of coming across ignorant and racist. I've met more forgiving "rednecks" from growing up in Texas than I have Indians.

Especially with the way I talk, dress, and I have tattoos that show, most Indians I have come across seem to have a problem with that.

[madaboutplastic]

And i bet u think u are different and special?

I've always stood out but grew up in pretty much all white communities.
I'm very lucky to have liberal and educated parents that didn't steer me into the typical indian life. EDIT** (however I am still very much proud of my heritage and culture, just a shame there are some, much like in any group that give us a bad name)

I have met a fair few Indians (typically extended family members) that have been pretty closed minded to the point of coming across ignorant and racist. I've met more forgiving "rednecks" from growing up in Texas than I have Indians.

Especially with the way I talk, dress, and I have tattoos that show, most Indians I have come across seem to have a problem with that.

[ddlim12]

nice... yoga flame...[/list][/quote]

[AjitS]

Am i actually reading this, I'm a proud british bourn punjabi, i like to think my proudness of my roots doesnt come across as arrogance (but ill let others be the judge of that)

I regularly browse these forums just for genral advice and knowledge before i make the big move from the UK.

For some reason i found myself reading this thread, maybe I'm being overly sensitive but found some of the comments a little offensive and also feel some of them had a subtle undertone of racism, what surprised me more is many of the comments come from people that seem to be regular contributers on this site.

I think everyone has the right to be proud of were they are from and if they worked hard for an education why not brag a bit (i dont have that luxury as i am didnt even pass my GCSEs). Anyone can be sleezy and arrogant no matter what colour your skin is lets try not to generalise everyone in a particular race.

I hope the people that i meet in singapore actually let me open my mouth before they assume I'm a sleezy smelly arrogant so and so.

[JR8]

Your post has undertones of trying to control or curtail conversation by suggesting it is racist and a source of offense (how jolly British), but you're a Brit living in Britain so what do you know?

There was a Scottish guy here last year (an ex-copper called Lynsey or something) who got to SG and essentially appeared to lose the plot within a space of two weeks over how Indians were 'treated' in Singapore. A case of seeking offense on behalf of others maybe.

You will have an interesting time in SG I am sure. You're a Brit but to some extent will be stereotyped as an Indian. I hope you won't compensate by being haughty and arrogant

[sundaymorningstaple]

Why must they always wear their race on their sleeves so that their feelings always get bruised? Seems no matter what passport they carry, the passport doesn't define them. Same in my country. They stay in their community like compounds (figuratively speaking) and refuse to allow their children to mix with "outsiders" even though all carry the same passports and citizenship. Why do they call it the Indian Diaspora? Why do you read about parents killing their children if the child happens to date outside their race? Why don't they mix with the other races? If you can answer those questions, then maybe you will understand why locals here have a problem with them and the arrogance that seems to follow them around like a plague.

[U.Wirayuda]

Wow...Such an interesting thread.. Now i learn a bit more about Indians. Tks for the direct inputs of experiences & knowledge from all.

Looking forward for more inputs for general knowledge!

Anway i'm Wira. M/32 Javanese & Malay mixed.

[Darthcoder]

Why must they always wear their race on their sleeves so that their feelings always get bruised? Seems no matter what passport they carry, the passport doesn't define them. Same in my country. They stay in their community like compounds (figuratively speaking) and refuse to allow their children to mix with "outsiders" even though all carry the same passports and citizenship. Why do they call it the Indian Diaspora? Why do you read about parents killing their children if the child happens to date outside their race? Why don't they mix with the other races? If you can answer those questions, then maybe you will understand why locals here have a problem with them and the arrogance that seems to follow them around like a plague.

About the Bolded part, that usually doesnt happen with INDIAN HINDU parents who are settled abroad (Please do not take any offence, this is a general observation).

I agree with you on the "Why dont they mix with other races" part. Hell, Indians are too diverse for their own good and many sub-communities (among Indians) dont even mix with each other. For example, a Tamil would like to make friends with another Tamil and blabber about in Tamil to another person and will completely ignore the other(non-tamil) Indians in the group. So, the answer is. When they dont mix among themselves, how do you expect them to mix freely with other communities?

Secondly, the Indian society is still very conservative. An Indian girl having a non-Indian boyfriend (or vice versa) is still not very widely accepted in India although the trend is changing now. Hell, an Indian having a partner from another caste/language background encounters lots of problems so imagine the problems if an Indian chooses a partner from another country (Again, this is a general example and the acceptance of a foreigner within the family depends on the family background and varies from family to family).

Thirdly, Do Indians run after foreign ladies? Sadly, yes. They like exotic species . Why do Indians stare at the ladies? The Indian girls dress up such that most of their bodies are covered (The Salwar kurta being one of the main dresses worn by ladies countrywide). Now when these guys come abroad they see all these ladies in shorts and revealing outfits and cant help but look (This is the best possible explanation I could come out with, I do not vouch for its 100% authenticity ).

In conclusion, do Indians need to change their attitude, mix with the local diaspora and adapt more to the local culture? Definitely YES.

Now for a little bit of OT banter: SMS, I know you have some beef with Indians but you need not take it out on Indians at every given opportunity. Your posts regarding Indians are all borderline racist (and you know it ). Me the mere mortal do not have the right to give you any advice but would still request you to tone it down a bit against the Indians (Anyone who does anything stupid on this forum is immediately labelled as "Someone from the subcontinent" by you).

I rest my case.

- An Indian (Not wearing my race on my sleeve. I am a Global Citizen ).