Maid never learns and lies.

[pbez]

Hello,
I've had a filipino maid for almost 2 years now. We have always treated her with respect, have supported her in expressing herself, given her off days every weekend, increased her salary a few times, sent her home last Christmas, given her presents, etc, etc. However, though she's been at our home for so long she still has to be reminded of things she should be doing as a habit. We are a working couple with a 5-year old at home, so every free time we have we'd like to spend with our child and expect her to know what to do about dinner, supermarket, cleaning and all. However, she can never get organized enough and never plans the week ahead. I keep trying to figure out whether she is lazy or not intelligent enough.
The thing that is bothering me the most is that I am finding out that she lies to me and to my child. It is really about little things, but this is teaching my child also to lie! I've talked to her and explained the importance of always telling the truth, especially to a child, but she doesn't seem to understand the concept.
I've been getting really tired of repeating myself and there are days I just want to send her away. I feel that she does not appreciate the way we treat her.
I would like to know what is your opinion. Do you have the same issues with your maids? People keep telling me that if I change, I will end up with someone much worse or exactly the same. I've been thinking that perhaps it would be a good idea to try a different nationality. The other day I saw someone with an African maid. Does anyone know if there are any agencies that bring in African maids or any other non-asian nationalities?
I'd really appreciate your input.
Thank you and regards,

[sundaymorningstaple]

Maids can only be from traditional source countries (e.g. certain Asian countries - not all). The only way one could have a non-traditional source maid is if they are PR's or citizens.

Re: lies and never learning? Why are you asking that sort of question? The answer is pretty obvious I'd say. When is the little lie going to become a big one? When is the inability to learn something too much? After the house burns down?

[scarbowl]

First of all, I suggest you not assume she is representative of all Filippinos. Also, keep in mind that in some Asian cultures one always says "yes" even if you know the answer is "no." It's almost impossible to get across that this is lying. It's frustrating and makes one unsure of the truth.

But if you are bothered by this it is likely worth the effort to find another maid. Don't put up with the lack of attention, failure to plan, etc. But you don't want her in the house once you've told her you are firing her.

[Expat_guy]

Nationality has nothing to do with the habit of telling lies, it is not a nationality problem but a human one. Initally when my maid used to tell few lies, but my wife spoke to her and asked her why she does lie, she gradually stoped.

[pbez]

Thanks for all of your replies. It seems you have not encountered the problems I am encountering. Sundaymorningstaple, I just met someone last week who hired a maid from a non-Asian country and the employer is not a PR nor a citizen. All you have to do is pay the fees. However, this person already knew the maid well, but I do not know anyone to bring in.

You're right that I should not blame my maid's behavior on her nationality, but perhaps there is a trend in behavior due to the negative experiences they all go through, like being mistreated, for example. I suspect that they are mostly conditioned to behave in one way because of how they are treated in general in Singapore.

[sundaymorningstaple]

Sundaymorningstaple, I just met someone last week who hired a maid from a non-Asian country and the employer is not a PR nor a citizen. All you have to do is pay the fees. However, this person already knew the maid well, but I do not know anyone to bring in.

I stand corrected. I've had a read of the form and, indeed, they have changed the form to include a line now for "other" whereby it used to be only from 7 tradition source countries. Frankly, it's about time, as this will allow the import of actual accredited Nannies. I suspect that only the well-heeled upper echelon expats would be able to afford their salary & upkeep though.

[pbez]

You are right. It would be more costly to bring a maid from outside Asia, but it may be worth doing it.

[Amit Ram]

we cant just bring maids from any countriesas we wish, i dont think Singapore Govt will allow that, "African Maids" i dont think it is possible, only a certain country maids are alowed, those people must be able to blend and fit to the surrounding , i wld suggest Burmese as an alternative

[sundaymorningstaple]

we cant just bring maids from any countriesas we wish, i dont think Singapore Govt will allow that, "African Maids" i dont think it is possible, only a certain country maids are alowed, those people must be able to blend and fit to the surrounding , i wld suggest Burmese as an alternative

Do you know that for a fact? Or are you just assuming/guessing? I do know NOW, that the form HAS been changed to include "Others" over and above the traditional source countries. We don't like to mislead if the facts are not known.