3 Signs You're Ready to Enter the Dating Pool Again

For the young and single, there’s a general perception that dating is a natural part of daily life. If you have ever gone out on a date, you probably already know the drill: just be yourself, wade through the dating pool, and see where it goes. In essence, actively mingling with other singles means showcasing the best parts of yourself—be it your stellar personality, your quirky movie picks, or your winning smile— to see if you’ll finally attract the one person who will add a dash of colour into your life. For the most part, dating is a fun way to seek companionship in an often chaotic world.

But sometimes, certain factors keep you from continuing your pursuit of love. Maybe you’ve experienced heartbreak or loss, which can take root in your heart and affect your life in small, subtle ways. Still, there will come a time when you realise that you’ve learned to live through your experiences and are ready to re-open your heart to endless possibilities.

Whether it’s through a friend, an MY dating app, or (more rarely) a meet-cute scenario, there are various ways that you might encounter the love of your life. If you’re not sure about whether it’s the right time to rejoin the dating pool, here are some telltale signs that you’ve moved past heartbreak and are now ready to start dating again.

You’ve Made Peace with Your Past

Moving on from a past relationship is, of course, not an easy thing to do. If you’re a bit frustrated about the pain and negative emotions that you thought should be over by now, it may be because you believe that moving on is a linear process. Breakups are tough, and there may be times when you’ll wake up feeling light and happy before crashing back into a hole of sadness.

The truth is, your heart doesn’t have to be fully healed before you start dating again. However, you also need to make peace with your past or you’ll risk hurting yourself and other people. If you no longer keep tabs on your ex, have their belongings, or compare every other person to them, it may be the right time for you to date again. What’s important is you acknowledge that the relationship is over; that you’re willing to start anew with a fresh perspective and an open heart.

You Know What You Want Out of a Relationship

If you’re moving on from a long-term relationship, there may be a part of you that wants to start dating again to fill the void. But as any well-meaning friend would tell you, this will only do you more harm than good. If anything, forcing yourself into new relationships you’re not ready for will only leave you feeling lonelier than you are now.

Ideally, you should have a clear idea of what you’re looking for in a relationship before jumping into the dating pool. This means recognising what went wrong in your past relationships and how to avoid or resolve them. Having a goal in mind allows you to spot the red flags that might have led to your relationship’s demise, as well as any toxic behaviours on either side that contributed to the downfall.

You Know Your Worth and Have Learned Self-Sufficiency

Failed relationships can leave you feeling lost and unlovable. After all, it’s easy to be thrown off-course when you wake up one day and realise that you have one less person in your life. The thought of living on your own can be terrifying, especially if you’ve depended on your partner for so long. On top of that, relationships that ended on bad terms can affect your self-worth and lead you to the thought that you’ll always be an unlovable person.

To be truly ready to date again, you need to ensure that you’re independent enough to get by on your own. This means being strong and self-sufficient enough to handle life on your own terms. In a nutshell, you have to fully establish yourself as a person distinct from your past lover—a person with your own hobbies, aspirations, and friends.

Contingent to all of this is having a sense of self-worth. Seeing the best parts of yourself can be tough, but you have to keep reminding yourself that you have value. It can be difficult to regain self-worth, but it takes the right person to see that you’re someone worth loving despite your bad experiences and flaws.

Conclusion: Date When You Feel Ready and Available

At its core, dating will not always be a walk in the park. Dating, as the movies and TV shows like to say, requires “putting yourself out there” to find the right person who best fits in your life. But life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, and your experiences of loss and heartbreak can keep you from exploring what the world—and the ever-present dating pool—has to offer. More than that, experiencing a relationship that went awry can affect the way you believe in love, allowing cynicism to overthrow hope.

Grief will change you in many ways, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up on love altogether. In the end, it’s best to let the feelings run their course, work on yourself, and allow yourself to take the step forward once you’re ready to take the plunge.

03 Jan 2023
SG Expats